Entries this day: ConCon_first_am Kathryn

ConCon first am

11:30am Tuesday 4 August 1998

Woke up and read part of Shield and talked to Torger and Galen and others on staff out on our cabin porch. Then breakfast and sat at the same table with mostly the same group as dinner last night. We talked and chilled a bit and bounced a plastic ring from a coke bottle plastic cap.

At the Spirt Circle I sat between Carol and Jeremy who sang "Greasy Grimey Gopher Guts" for everyone. Well he started it but didn't remember quite all the lyrics..

I made an announcement encouraging people to write in what we in the Southwest District call the "Big Gray Rally Book," a YRUU diary that is actually volume II. I started volume 1 back in July 1996 at the New Orleans Rally.

Then someone (I think Allison or maybe Mimi) led the "Happy Boy" song, which I didn't know, but many people did and sang along with it. Something about a dead dog and his guts in a jar.

During the Growth Stages workshop, we did a bonding game and had a ten minute nap, during which I actually fell asleep! Nice. Then we shared stories about our first memories before 5 years old.

Kathryn

4pm Tuesday 4 August 1998

Lunch then chilled and we had a fire drill, bringing everyone to the volley ball court downhill from all the cabins.

The fire drill was also a sneaky way to get us all assembled for a big ConCon group photo (which I should most certainly scan and put on the web!) for which Jeremy sat on my shoulders.

Then I arrived late for the adult check-in meeting but it was all good and afterward I said HI and talked to Kathryn, advisor from this area. We talked for quite a while. I had kicked off the conversation with, "what do you think happens after we die?"

She gave her thoughts, and I mine, and the conversation spun off to my high school shyness transformation into college craziness and YRUU advising and dream flying and OOBE and awareness of the world in general. Now we are going to walk to the creek.

Kathryn is encouraging me to apply for an Adult-at-large position on Youth Council. Part of me is going, "yeah, but" and I am scared to do it but don't know why.

I believe I can do Youth Council and local youth work. I can do it. She just gave me privacy to write.

I told her I had applied for the adult coordinator position for this ConCon. I didn't make it, but that doesn't mean I should try again. What if I quit trying to walk when I fell the first time?

Ah- here it is -- I'm continually wanting to be "experienced" to be grown up.. I want to do "that" (whatever someone else has already done) instead of recognizing that this moment, each moment *is* my experience. My experience is continually unfolding before me.

I'm gonna go for it. I'll talk to Jen Harrison and apply and go for it!