Entries this day: Dream3.57 Dream6.05 applet i-group

Dream3.57

21:57 Saturday 23 July 2000

been reading java for 2.5 hours. cool stuff.

3:57 am Sunday 24 July 2000

(dream)

at a hotel, parking lot, after having driven up while tired, all my stuff was in the car as I waited for the other passengers to get their stuff out, but once they got it out, they didn't wait for me to get my stuff out. then some other youth were in the car (kT for one) and I think Mike L for the other (Danielle's ex-um friend) and I asked them to help me carry everything inside in one trip. I loaded up a bunch of coin collection stuff on Mike.

hotel converted into my house and we were chillifying on the couch, Elise was asking me if she could be one of my patients as I had just begun my schooling at USM. I told her that I could not be her therapist, ought not, because then we wouldn't be able to play like this (many other people were around as we all flopped on the couch, her on my lap.)

and she was all, well in school, we are encouraged to talk to our friends, when we have problems, and you are my friend, so I should be able to talk to you if I want.

I didn't have an answer for her. that logic seemed correct.

I was alone in the house, and it was really getting messy. ridiculously messy with dishes teetering in the sink, broken chairs, food spilled on the floor, old half cooked pancakes on the stove,. my friends had been over and made a wreck of the place, and I knew I needed to get it cleaned up, but I just had to take a nap first.

sleeping and then my mom called and I grabbed the phone so as to not let my parents be woken up and it was my mom who said "we are leaving for Australia in 40 minutes."

I hung up on her in a rush to get off the phone so I could get ready in time. Tossing clothes into my green bag, digging out of the mess stuff to bring, wondering if I should bring australian coins from last year or just get all new ones.

my mom got up and was gettng ready as well, the idea was that the house alarm would go off in 40 minutes, and we would have to leaving right at that moment, before the alarm monitoring company would call to see if it was a real alarm.

I was trying to clean up stuff as I grabbed clothes, wondering if I should just bring all shorts or if i would need some pants. what about shoes?

there was a brick and I asked ma where she wanted it, and she said "I dunno it's your brick", so I threw it out into the yard with all the other bricks in the front yard.

the reason we were getting ready so fast and leaving so fast was so that dad wouldn't be ready on time and therefore wouldn't go.. that was my mom's plan, in an effort to go without him

I was loading stuff into my pockets watching some fluffy birds, some white birds in cages and tinkerbell woke me up trying to sleep by my head.

- - - - - - -

4:11 am

oh yeah one other part of my dream:

Dr farnsworth from futureama as a cartoon in my dream on computer at first, then computer 3d animated going through a thought process funny cyclical thought process:

It's my fault

It's all my fault

I'm not thunder

I'm not at fault

it someone else's fault

I'm in charge here

it's my fault etc etc

I'm not totally sure about all of them, but the "i'm not thunder" one meant thunder as in all powerful. not as in Thunder Rabbbit.

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Dream6.05

6:05am Monday 24 July 2000

(dream)

In a walgreen's type store, I saw a new nine inch nails CD that I hadn't seen before. I 1/2way recognized it was a dream, and began to carefully memorize the image on the CD. interesting thing that on the bottom of the picture on the back, which appeard to be simply a photograph of the stage being set up, I noticed that the people near the bottom were all images of John Goodman at various stages of his life all with the same expression of no emotion.

and the lo, trent was there with me, and I was talking to him about just general stuff.

as I studied the Cd case, I said "trent," and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "I love your music." he said thanks and was willing to answer random various questions, which I don't remember the questions or the answers. but he showed me the new nine inch nails logo, which was a clear crystal with NINININI etched onto the bottom,and if viewed correctly, appeard as NIN (backwards N) and when held upside down, appard as ni(backwads n) (lowercase).. I studied and marveled at that logo for a while, . it was like melted into the plastic, or like a bubble in the plastic of the jewel case.

then he showed me another image on the Cd. when viewed straight on it appeared as static, but when viewed at an angle, it was an image of trent's skull with a chrome appple in the middle of it and gentle hands cradling the apple, all inside his skull. That image was more like a hologram thad a 3D actual shape though.

then he said somthing and I thought he had to go, but no. he just wanted to show me the 4th CD that was available, and I almot got the happy feeling that he was going to purchase it for me (and maybe all 4) so I followed him to a different part of the store, and thought about telling him that I had grabbed the microphone when he threw it out into the audience when he played in Austin (true story), but I didn't. the different part of the store to which we walked was actually just on the other side of a person who had been standing beside us at the CDs. I noticed that this was odd, and I woke up.

(this is an example of me only being slightly expectant and then disappointed at not having the coveted item in real life out of my dream)

6:21am

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applet

12:39pm Monday 24 July 2000

I showed Dude and Rocky (via AIM) my new applet. Dude noted that either left or right mouse button would make the blue dot move.. that made me realize that I could catch the different mouse buttons and make the different balls move according to which mouse button! left click moves the blue ball, right click moves the red ball and ctrl-click moves the green ball. Nice!

Now I'm tempted to add controls to the side of the applet that will allow the velociites of the balls to be changed dynamically, or to change the color or size of the balls. However, I'm realizing it's going to be a tad tricker than I had first thoght. I'll have to plan it more slowly.

I'm certainly enjoying getting paid to learn java!!

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i group

9:30pm CDT Monday 24 July 2000

Tonight I surprised myself in I-group. I felt disconnected from everything, so I presented my feelings to the group and quickly found myself in tears that I miss Wende "so much, and it's only been 2 days."

The core was fear that I wouldn't be able to take care of myself without her around. I then recognized that I was hungry, and hadn't eaten dinner. So I checked out of the group and came home to eat.

Read some Java In a Nutshell book, and now I'm going to bed.

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