Entries this day: I-group Wende

I group

11pm Monday 1 October 2001

I have just made the decision to rejoin my I-group starting next week. I wonder if I should tell them first, or just show up.

I definitely need their support in my life right now. At times things are no worries, and other times they are not. Right now I am at work trying to work, but not getting anything really useful done. I'm not looking forward to going home - it's almost as if I'm afraid of it. I've been in the guest bedroom for the past two nights, but tonight I'm a lot more sad about it. No longer a vacation; I really am embarking on this solo journey to find myself. Where am I? How could I be that hard to find? Very interesting choice of words for the search deep inside for life's own greatest mystery.

I told Kevin and Karla today that I did not in fact want eventually become a manager type person for others, but I'd rather ride my bike across Germany, or visit the pyramids in Egypt and Xochimilco (sp) and other places. What an amazing reaction they exhibited - more like "we can work it out" than "okay, bye!"

Today was our last Spanish class for Spanish 4. I haven't been studying as much as necessary to keep up with the class; I feel lost in the various past tenses. Just need some immersion to let it all sink into my brain. Maybe the Pimsleur CDs that I've heard about. Do you have an extra set I can borrow?

I just realized that by breaking up with Wende, we won't be getting wedding gifts. Interesting.

I have lost my keys; they might be at either Maggie's or Molly's house. I have looked through my stuff pretty effectively.

I'm going to ride home now and go to bed bed bed.

Wende

Monday 1 October 2001

Wende and I are separating. We are both sad, and continuing to communicate and stuff as we split up.

I have never lived alone (and not been seriously dating someone) since I got out of high school. As a result, I don't really know who I am. I'm choosing to live alone and be flat single and not available for relationship for a while. (like a year at very minimum)

On a mundane level, we intend to not sell the house right now; one of us will live in it and the other will be in an apartment. It appears that I'll be living in the house, but that's not clear yet. For now, we will live as roommates (I'm in the downstairs bedroom) until we save up a few dollars so she can move out.

The wedding next year is no more. Get your plane tickets to GA instead.

The decision was just made on Saturday, so we are just beginning to sort stuff out.