Entries this day: funny_letter

funny letter

7:45 pm Tuesday 21 May 2002

Recently I have received a few graduation notices. I feel blessed each time I get one; thank you to those who have sent them.

But I was just noticing that none that I've ever seen (including my own) ever have the nickname written on the little card inside. You know, the half-size graduation business card with the full name of the graduate fancily written in the center. No one puts a nickname I guess cause they're too expensive to get two batches, and some of them have to go to grandmothers and such. I dunno.

I still have not received such a card, but today I got something close and actually a tad funnier.

I received an official post office envelope with a big square window on one side with my address visible through the envelope's window. I could see they had photocopied a napkin with my address written on it. Someone had apparently written me a letter on a napkin, and the post office photocopied it because it was too flimsy to go through the machines, or something like that. I could see from the return address that it was from either Nathan or Aaron. Drawn on the napkin in between their address and my address was a stick figure on a surfboard, a big plus sign, a picture of a snowcapped mountain. "Surf Mountain" ?

Printed on the back side of the envelope:

WE CARE

DEAR VALUED POSTAL CUSTOMER:

I want to extend my sincere apology as your Postmaster for the enclosed
document that was inadvertently damaged in handling by your Postal Service.

We are aware how important your mail is to you.  With that in mind, we are
forwarding it to you in an expeditious fashion.

blah blah We handle a lot of mail, etc.  blah blah

I wasn't particularly surprised that a napkin didn't make it through the postal process. I was surprised and impressed that they photocopied it for me, on a color copier, no less. Would the original napkin be inside? Was it damaged? How could they have photocopied it undamaged and then damaged it later? Was it a proactive photocopying?

I carefully opened the outer official post office envelope and pulled out a single envelope on which the photocopy of the napkin was printed. I can see now that it's from Nathan. And he used to work at The Mountain, so surf + mountain makes sense. Wait. This is not a normal photocopy. It's an image of a napkin, but it's folded into the shape of an envelope and coated in clear tape. The post office wouldn't have done that. And the back side is a Johnny Walker ad. How was this done???

I carefully opened the black napkin imprinted envelope and see this paper has been printed on both sides. Extra-incredible mysterious.

How did Nathan get a color photocopy of a napkin printed onto the back of an image of a guy with his shirt off and a tattoo on his shoulder, and wearing a MJ sweat band?

Inside the black envelope is an handmade envelope out of a Fantastic Four comic strip thing. Nicely non-themed so far.

I opened the comic page envelope and lo- inside is Nathan's graduation announcement from Louisiana State. Nice.

I open the announcement:

              College of Arts and Sc
                Diploma Granting Cer
           Friday afternoon, May twe
                    Two thousand two
                    at four o 'clock
                 Maravich Assembly C



             It is a pleasure to ann
                     Nathan Andrew R
            is a candidate for the a
              Bachelor of Science in
                at Louisiana State U
                    Commencement Exe
    Friday morning, May twenty-fourt
                    at nine o 'clock
                   Maravich Assembly
                    Baton Rouge, Lou

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

I laughed super loud.

What's even more funny is that I did not realize until I wrote this entry that the photocopy of the napkin was part of the Johnny Walker ad. He had simply written his and my address on it.

But part of the mystery still isn't solved: There is no postage anywhere to be found. Not on the black taped envelope. Not on the outer official envelope except for the official printed First-Class Mail Postage & Fees Paid thing.

Did Nathan somehow get an official envelope and use it? How? Wow!