Entries this day: Work gin_in_Holland

Work

11:54am CST Friday 17 January 2003

Today I looked for tables at work. Talked to Oksana about who sings "All that she wants"... neither of us could think of it, but then Sergei knew it's by Ace of Base. I'm pretty amazed, considering he doesn't seem like the kinda cat to know 'popular' American music.

Oksana is wondering how much her cellphone company charges her for internet access through her phone. She says she's been using it, but hasn't been charged for it. Hmmm.

Mike has some images of books on a bookshelf which he's using spray adhesive to adhere to a big yellow facade painted like... the interior of a library. Oksana had the good idea of cutting some of the books separately to make them lean over a bit. Like real books. Very smart.

I'm feelin' pretty happy today, hoping to have a great time at the rally tomorrow and to be allowed to stay more than four hours.

Talked to Janette about it last night, and to Rick when he came over. I trust that everything will work out for the highest good.

He wondered flat out if J N-P would actually contact HARE for me, since she did not follow through on some phone call/conversations she wanted to have with people after talking to him one day. Long story. Also it's his story, so yeah.

gin in Holland

9:29pm CST Friday 17 January 2003

From: Gin
Date: 16 January 2003
Subject:  Back in Holland (written in November 2002)

ÊÊ ***note*** Hello and Happy New Year!Ê This is the e-mail I wrote on
November 5th, 2002.Ê It is actually very typical of me not to send
letters i write.Ê If you have ever gotten a snail-mail letter from me
it was probably 10 pages long and written over a year beforeÊi put it
in the mail box.Ê A couple of months is not so bad.Ê I hope you are
well, and yourÊlong winter nights are filled with pleasure, love and
fortified hope...

Ê
ÊÊÊ Hello incredible People!Ê I hope you are finding perfection in
many aspects of your life.ÊÊÊÊThank you for theÊnotes of
encouragement!ÊÊÊ
ÊÊÊ ÊIt is two weeks ago that i arrived in the Netherlands!ÊÊTwo weeks
down this tarmac,Êa long runway to land my nature flight. I am still
rolling along, trying to settle into the transition of the new
neighborhood, the new language, the new culture, etc.ÊÊÊ
ÊÊ ÊIn the lastÊ17 monthsÊi have spent a lot of time alone.ÊÊI amÊmore
comfortable with my own philosophy now thanÊbefore i started the
walk.ÊI have explored many hall ways of my mind, and i feel like that
was important for me to do.ÊÊIn retrospect i see that it is the very
first thought i have about something- that reverberates the longest.Ê
Even after hours, months or years of contemplation over a personal
issue, the first thought i had about it is the one i usually end up
coming back to.Ê Many of the things i wanted to sort out within myself
were mostly all ready sorted out.ÊBeing alone gave me the space and
time to learn to listen to theÊanswers that lace the ethers of
silence.Ê IÊloved being alone. I became fascinated with my free
feelings.ÊThe onesÊperfectly positioned betweenÊecstatic and placid. I
had no one to complain to, so i had no complaints.Ê Anything that
needed to be done, i did.Ê No blaming or compromising.ÊBeing alone can
be dangerously comfortable.ÊÊLuckily, i do want to
beÊunderstanding,Êactive and communicative.Ê We are so many people,
and it can be so much fun together!Ê I think all of that alone time is
makingÊtogethernessÊeven sweeter. Paradise can be anywhere.ÊRunning
hand in hand- being pushed by the wind over the beach during a severe
wind storm...
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ I left Galicia immediately after writing the last e-mail.Ê I
rode the bus back towards France along a similar route that i had
walked- through many towns where i had stopped for the night.Ê It was
strange to see all those towns through the window of that night
bus. ÊI had made a huge effort not to walk along theÊmain auto route.Ê
Although it made the walk much longer, it wasÊan awesome adventure to
discover the off-road terrain of northern Spain.ÊIt took the entire
night to make theÊtrip that it took me months to walk.
ÊÊÊÊÊ I made my way back to the mountainsÊwhere I stayed last
winter.ÊÊI have only known some of those mountain folksÊfor 11 years,
some for 11 months, but i feel comfortable cradled between those huge
hills with them as distant neighbors.ÊÊ
ÊÊ The day i was going to walk up to the mountain house, i was told
that "they" (government or industry?) were going to start building a
road behind the house.Ê Of course building roads in road-less areas
means deforestation, among other things.Ê My companions on that
mountain last winter were the trees, and the flora and fauna of the
forest.ÊÊMy friendsÊare being ripped upÊ In the end, i am getting
older, feeling that a road might benefit someone, sometime- and that
the trees will grow back- someday.ÊÊ Rationalizations do not diminish
the tragedy.ÊÊ IÊfeelÊmy powerlessness in this situation.Ê I left that
mountain house void of my possessions, ready to be inhabited by
another.ÊIt is the place ofÊdreams.Ê I am so glad that i will have
that silent mountain top experience forever trapped in my imagination.
ÊÊÊÊÊParis is theÊmiddle of west europe. Most of the bus, train
orÊmain auto routes going fromÊnorth to south or visa-versa luckily
intersect in Paris.ÊÊThe train trip from southern France to Holland
took me through Paris.Ê Visiting my friends there usually occurs at
the same time i am undergoing some kind of personal
metamorphosis.ÊÊÊFor me Paris has been a place where i have made very
pivotal decisions in my life.ÊÊÊIt mustÊbe my friends there thatÊhelp
inspire thought and action.Ê
ÊÊÊÊÊ Now, I am in the Netherlands, back on the little islandÊI want
to call home.ÊÊ This mud-pie-girlÊtore up the cobblestones in front of
the house and planted roses and tulipÊbulbs!Ê I guess it was a deeper
community bonding experience than i thought, cause today the elderly
neighbor is called me the "neighbor woman"Ê(buurvrouw) and gave me
romantic advice!ÊÊIt is never too much too soon.Ê There is nothing to
loose in the land of wooden shoes!Ê
ÊÊÊ ÊThe godsÊare still watching over me.Ê I am now 4 days illegal.Ê
The brand new laws of the European Union say that a non-EU citizen can
only stay in the EU for 3 months out of 6 months.Ê This is one of the
modern problems that pilgrims face.Ê I have been here 3 months and 4
days.ÊÊAs a part of our hugeÊeffort to keep me legal,Ê tomorrow my
dear friendÊRon is going with me to visit the immigration police.ÊI
have a million reservations, and just as many to learn to set aside.Ê
I am still reading my "feel right" book, and so far- so good.ÊÊ
TheÊexcitement of having such a divine love in my life is something
iÊcherish.ÊOne day at a time.ÊAt least we don't have to get
married. But hallelujah, LennyÊKravitzÊsays it all when he cries, "Let
Love Rule"!Ê Not a bad idea.Ê I am not having much difficulty.
ÊÊÊ Ê TheÊwinter money making instinctÊis kicking in.Ê I am going to
buy a sewing machine to make funny hats.ÊI broughtÊbeeswax from Ariege
to make medicinal body creams.Ê I have some other ideas, but then i
open my mouth and such a sloppy dutch dribbles out, i have trouble
sounding serious.Ê Details.Ê
ÊÊÊÊÊ Good news is thatÊwe found the only organic/bio farm on the
island, and it is a 15 minute bike ride!!!ÊÊThat is heaven. ÊRon's
mother gave me her oldÊblue bike thatÊneeds tires.ÊÊI made it to town
on it the other day (to look at a hand sewing machine) in 40 minutes.Ê
The fantasy of learning how to sew is also a continuation of last
winter's projects.ÊOn the mountain, i hand sewed a few of those crazy
hats by candlelight.Ê I was also looking for a spindle to practice
spinningÊsheep's wool into yarn.ÊÊÊI tried to knit a potholder but my
knots wereÊtoo tight.Ê More practice.Ê Until then, I need curtains to
give me a sense of privacy.ÊÊÊÊI think i am going to look at an
electric sewing machine before i commit to a more rustic version.ÊÊI
will alsoÊreturn some textbooks to the local language school.ÊI have
my fall/winter projects cut out for me.
Ê ÊAll my best to y/our people!Ê Big hugs to you!

Ê...as the earth pours herÊmighty winter energy into us... may you
find everything you desire...ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊlove, ginÊÊÊÊÊÊ