Entries this day: drunk

drunk

12:49am JST Monday 1 December 2003

I cannot fucking believe how fucking drunk Neil H-Y got tonight. He's my fucking boss's boss and he got SMASHED at the going away party for Rachel. I mean like, fucking shit if you're going to come to a party where ALL of your staff will be, don't get fucking drunk. Just don't do it. Make an appearance, hey hey great to see you have a drink or two, but don't get SMASHED.

He was saying some weird shit to Phong like, "can I just do this?" and extending his hand in a weird handshake like motion, but that looked kinda like a waltz dance move. "Can I just do this?" and he put his head down sideways like to lay in Phong's lap (didn't actually do it, but). To Morag I was like, "I'm really unimpressed."

I didn't think he'd be able to hear me or know I was talking about him.

"You're un impressed are you?"

oh shit, he heard me.

"May I, may I," as he got up to come to my side of the table, "May I just come sit over here?"

"Apparently you can."

"May I sit by you?"

And I'm like, "um no" I really wish you wouldn't, and kinda moved over away from where he was sitting.

"May I just do this?" and he took my hand like to shake it and put it up near my chest.

he put his arm around me and I pretty much felt really uncomfortable because:

1) He's my AAM (boss's boss)
2) He's not making any sense
3) It's almost like he's hitting on me
4) He's my fucking AAM for god's sake! Why the fuck is he my boss and I'm just a fucking peon and I don't drink and he's smashed and babbling incoherently philosophically trying to make me think there's a shred of logic in what the fuck he was saying?????

I looked away from him; I could hardly face him and think "your my boss" and not want to just HATE him and hate that I'm so careful not to get like him but where am I and where is he? So apparently drunk people get to be the bosses' boss; well fuck NOVA; I'm outta here. I'd give you my resignation right now if I thought you would remember it.

He kept saying variants of shit like, "Do you actually think that I would think that you thought you would do that?" and "Why do you think you would think I would do that?" substituting 'you' for 'I' and 'I' for 'you' as desired. Repeatedly.

And I queried my angels for an answer. "Why am I here?" That's the question I came up with. I don't know is the only answer that appeared.

"I don't know. I really don't know."

Every time I looked away from him he was like, "no, look at me, please don't turn away. And answer would you really think that I would think you would actually do that?"

Fuckin' hell get me out of here.

Somewhere during this time Morag bailed. Later she said, "I'm really sorry; I just couldn't be there; I couldn't help you; I knew there was nothing I could do."

She used my shoulder to help herself stand up, which I knew was a "I feel your pain my brother; I wish I could help," kind of support.

Then a bit later she walked by and put her hand on my head to say the same thing.

"Are you cool?" asked Neil.

"I don't think so."

"Someone has just walked by and put their hand on your head like this," and proceeded to put his hand on my head like that, "and I wonder why do you think that they thought to do that. Does that make you cool?"

"I don't know."

"But why would you think that they would think to put their hand on your head to make me think that I think you are cool?"

(yes, it doesn't make any sense. yes it was not cool.)

"I think she was just trying to tell me がんばって。" I don't know if he understood what I meant.

The table next door to us wanted to have their picture taken, and Rachel gave her camera to Neil and then the people in front of the camera were like, "Rob come get in the picture." I'm sure they did this deliberately to rescue me. I'm so so so thankful.

Neil was apparently able to take the picture, but after that he was literally fumbling around with the camera and nearly dropping it (expensive digital camera while the lens was out and everything) and I reached up to take it from him and then he was leaning stuporedly against the wall and then stumbled out of the area to go pee I'm guessing.

A few minutes later Carla reported, "For anyone who was wondering, Cory is helping Neil who went into the womens' restroom."

- - - -

As Morag and I were leaving (to catch the last train home) Neil was slumped (standing) against the wall near the elevator. "Please don't go, I'm scared," but Cory had just been there and I had heard him (Cory) say, "we can't leave him like that" or something so I knew that I could completely release responsibility.

I had no problem saying, "We have to go, we're catching the last fucking train right now."

- - - -

As we waited in Hiyoshi station, a Japanese guy hurled repeatedly down onto the track from the platform.

- - - -

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And that is why I don't drink.