Entries this day: Counseling Work fu worst_night_ever

Counseling

10:40am JST Thursday 15 January 2004

I made my phone calls to find a counselor through TELL. Yay for having that completed.

Work

11:58pm JST Thursday 15 January 2004

Ummmmmmmmmmmm. Saw KG Miki and Sonoe. They were in a lesson with Ali maybe. Said HI to them. Miki moreso than Sonoe. Miki said HI to janette and Fred. (I guess I'll tell them now.)

Fred said, "not that I heard."

Taught Yutaka in my last class and he was worse than I remembered him being. It's like I treat him as a friend and assume he knows as much as my friends, but he does not.

Voice was a fucking nightmare that I think I handled rather well. One student (who all the teachers complained about today) was like, "how long are we going to talk in pairs?" (except it took him a month to spit it out) and I'm like, "I dunno; I don't come in here with a set agenda," and he was like, "whine whine whine" saying all this shit about "I pay money and I want to listen to a native person speak" and I'm like if you would shut the fuck up I would have a chance to say something, fucker "I hear that you want to talk to a native speaker and the best way to do that is to buy a man to man lesson," and he kept on and on, and I finally interrupted him because he was interrupting three other students, specfically 2 other students who from him I had separated (the other two students who from him I separated were still talking) and to whom I was just beginning to speak (I interrupted their convo to say something) when he interrupted me and they never got back on track so I was like, "aight; why do you guys come to voice?" and though I did (on one level) actually want honest answers, they all said, "this shit is fly dog" and he was like, "you were right; I am wrong" and I'm like, "well that wasn't my point; at least you are willing to speak up," etc. and I really acknowledged him (moreso than the other students deserved (to be ignored)) and blah blah blah. I think I handled it well.

No kids lessons. Morag and I have Sundays together at KQ (yay) which is ironic because I would have been over there with Carla but I said, "hey can M-dog and I have KQ together?" and asked for Friday, Carla got bumped from Sunday with me and Ali and Morag moved in. Fair enough. Carla's my favorite teacher, but Morag's my best friend here so it's still sweet.

fu

11:56pm JST Thursday 15 January 2004

Bah. Can't compile squares or dots at all. I fucked with it a bit and now I don't have any working versions except I assume the archive I downloaded will still work. (since it worked before)

worst night ever

1:08am JST Friday 16 January 2004

Ironic that I'm writing just after she said, "I won't read your journal anymore until I'm able to read it without being upset."

now we are broken up.

But we're too good of friends to be idiots about it for the rest of her visit. I'm thankful about that. Just right now while I'm tired I feel like shit.

She pointed out that though I don't see a solution to this, I have not given as much concerted effort toward this issue as I gave toward, say, my men's group, learning how to communicate effectively.

True enough. I'm glad she said that.

- - - -

Like, will she come to japanese class with me tomorrow? If she doesn't I sure as fuck won't be able to have an effective lesson; I haven't studied nor done my homework; I would just feel like fuck like I don't know jack shit what's going on, and if she does go I sure as fuck hope we aren't like mad at each other; that would suck worse that sucking.

Gad; I've got to sleep.

- - - -

We did hug; we will be okay.

2:10am

recovered.