Entries this day: Japanese_lesson Lunch janette shit_bicycle_parking work

Japanese lesson

9:25am JST Friday 19 March 2004

Yay; I made it to my Japanese lesson early today instead of late, like I had been the past two weeks. あやな was understanding, though; recently, usually she is late.

I wonder how much more I can find to do to stall before I study.

12:39pm

Lesson was pretty good. Obvious that I'm getting better in some areas and have forgotten other things. Today we reviewed short forms of some various adjectives and nouns-as-adjectives.

Lunch

12:39pm JST Friday 19 March 2004

Today is beautiful and sunny.

Even though I (inadvertantly) got the express train here, I arrived 4 minutes after their 1 hour lunch break started. I'm in Shin-Yurigaoka out by a waterfall thing that reminds me of a happy memory (*). I've just eaten lunch ("I'm gonna eat lunch, too.") and talked to Nami, with whom I've not hung out since October or November. We may hang out soon. Anyway, in a bit I will go to the visa immigration office to get my visa extended.

(*) In Memphis, hanging out with Lisa, we went to a working model of the Mississippi River (that was on an island(?) on the Mississippi) made of concrete plates, kinda like a relief map. I've lost my vocabulary (if I ever had it) for this. The point is, water poured through this model Mississippi and, being in a relatively outgoing mood and enjoying a relatively warm sunny day, I sat in the middle of the model river to make a human dam. So much fun from a play in the water point of view, and so interesting from a how far back will the water be affected point of view, and so challenging as in how do I most effectively block the water in this squared off channels with my rounded off butt?

Super happy thoughts to Lisa for sharing that fun day with me.

janette

3:15pm JST Friday 19 March 2004

> It was best with janette in January because there were so few people
> crowding the place up.  

wow.

I didn't really understand her reply, and I had a secret guess in the back of my mind that I had made her mad so I tried to accentuate the positive.

And we had the most fun with the most rides!

Thank you for getting up in the middle of the night in the blistering
cold to go with me that day!

But really it was a lost cause; there was no way to fix anything, and I didn't really know what could be done about it.

i commented because i want you to know how your writing affects
others.  i want you to know that your journal sometimes makes you
sound inconsiderate and a little heartless.

I'm leaving out the bits that I think will get me in more trouble with janette. Maybe this is one way to really piss her off and never be allowed back. I don't want that.

- - - -

I thought about just closing my journal with a big "JOURNAL CLOSED [to the public; fuck off]"

But I choose not to do that.

the point i want to make is- are you becoming the narrator of your
journal? are you heartless? NO!  then why do you sound that way? why
don't you write about your feelings more?

for example yuuko. we don't know anything about her except you kiss on
her, you see each other alot, she has a car. what's she like?  is she
funny?  how does she see the world?  what does she bring out in you?
what are her endearing qualities?  how is she different from american
girls you have known?  how has she touched your heart or opened your
eyes or comforted you?  how does she piss you off ?  do you like the
way she dresses,looks,walks?  how does she rate with all the other
women you have know?  what do you talk about?  how do you feel when
you are around her?

we don't know shit about her or any of your girls, including janette.
and it makes it seem like they mean not much to you.

is that true?  who does matter to you?  why? what's important?

I don't know what's fucking important, but writing why I like people sounds like an interesting project.

shit bicycle parking

4:10pm JST Friday 19 March 2004

How much fucking sense does this make? I had to pay 150 yen again to park my bicycle today. I paid once, came back, grabbed it, came back, parked it and I still had the motherfucking tag that said I motherfucking paid my motherfucking 150 motherfucking yen and the motherfucking motherfucker was like, "WAKKAWAKKKAWAKKAWAKKAWAKKA" all this stream of bullshit and I'm like, "I'm sorry motherfucker, I don't motherfucking understand you because you're and asshole if you think I'm going to pay another motherfucking 150 yen to park my motherfucking bicycle in your shithole overpopulated suck my ass bicycle parking lot, bitch."

So I paid him 150 yen and I hated him for it. Fuck you no I hated myself for conforming, for being a fucking pussy and paying it and not fucking leaving and going "fuck you and your fucking rules shitface jerkoff" especially since I already motherfucking knew I could pay only 100 yen at the other place. God damn I should have fucking left to show him what a dickface rule that is.

Did the parking lot lose money when I left? No. Did they have an opportunity to fill my parking spot with some other non-bike-pass-having motherfucker after I left? Yes. Was it even stupider that he fucking removed the old tag and put on a new one, wasting even more of Japan's precious resources and filling up Japan's precious landfill space? Yes!

Does Japan suck? Yes. This place is in an environmental and financial sinkhole with all the money going to destroy the environment with continual construction projects and rich fat guys at the top getting a percentage of all the construction projects they set up.

I think I'm in a bad mood.

work

11:31pm JST Friday 19 March 2004

My first lesson was with Mariko who I like completely connected with and basically fell in love with the moment; she was so *cool* compared to most Japanese I've met. She totally filled my heart; she told me the story of how she had a crap job working from 7am to 11pm, and it was (of course) killing her, so she took some time off to decide what she really wanted to do, and she decided to do some hospice training and volunteer work. Awesome. I was just moved. I suggested that each person we meet has a gift for us.

She asked if I have any lessons tomorrow. I checked, and I did not; I was not on the schedule at all. I showed her when I had lessons available on Sunday and Monday. I wanted to hang out with her during my lunch, but did not.

Release; if there's a connection to be made, she'll request one of my lessons.