Entries this day: Site crying determination louise walk_home zzzz

Site

2:00pm JST Monday 15 November 2004

Got a 404 email via a Houston Skate group website link. Designed a way that my 404 code can refresh to new links if it can tell where the user wanted to go.

There are now links to updated versions of Wild Skating Adventures 00, 01, and 02.

and a general redirect to my skate journal entries for the rest.

But right now I've got to get off the computer and get some foodage.

crying

4:29pm JST Monday 15 November 2004

Just had a good cry for what reason I have little idea. It was triggered when Hitomi called me after calling me this morning basically saying she wanted to meet me on Thursday night after I finished with my student (after I had just told her this morning that I was busy and could not meet).

- - - -

This morning Hitomi called and was like, "can you meet on Wednesday?" "no; I'm busy." "Thursday?" "no; I'm busy." "Saturday?" "sigh; I guess. Fine, okay, yeah fine."

Then she called me this afternoon; "I want to meet you early; can you meet me on Thursday?"

And I'm like, " "

And she's like "moshi moshi?"

And I'm like, "chotto matte" and put the phone down to try and come up with why I don't want to meet.

I was like, "what do you want to do?"

She's all, "anything okay: talk, walk around, ride bikes, watch a DVD; anything okay."

I knew that meant she wanted me to come up with something, and all I'll come up with is let's go to my room and fuck.

Jeez, Hitomi.. Fine we'll meet on Thursday, but if we meet on Thursday then we won't meet on Saturday.

She goes, "okay, but chotto yada"

My first reaction was like, "fuckit; it's all off; I'm not meeting you at all; fuck off."

But I tried to explain; this is just like what we had and I couldn't do before; I don't want a rolling list of Hitomi meeting times; we just end up fucking in my room and it's not good for my spirit or studies or website or other friendships.

She misunderstood my point, and it just set me off the emotional deep end; I can't fucking do this. And I started to cry.

She knew something had gone wrong with her plan. "Why are you crying?"

My tears were honest, and my answer poured out "I can't speak Japanese; I don't understand what you want; I don't know; I have to go to work; I can't do this." Or something to that effect.

She goes, "shigoto gambatte" and I was like "thanks" and hung up.

Cried for a good 5 minutes.

I can't put a logical reason on why, but I feel marginally better.

determination

8:10pm JST Monday 15 November 2004

Persistance pays off for Hitomi. She just called me and we're going to meet at 8:20 at Hachiko in Shibuya on Thursday night. She says if we go to my room we won't fuck. I don't really believe it; I think I could convince her otherwise quite quickly. We'll see what happens.

louise

8:12pm JST Monday 15 November 2004

Louise comes to my brain as a pretty close match to my optimal mate. We're probably going to hang out (watch a movie) tonight after work.

1:19am

Oops. Missed last train.

1:23am

Oops. She wasn't supposed to see the top part.

But, now that she did, she read the list, and excluded herself on the age part (and maybe others, but she's not saying).

walk home

2:54am JST Tuesday 16 November 2004

So. That's how long it takes me to

1. pack my stuff at Louise's house (Jiyugaoka)

2. walk home

3. unpack my stuff at my house (Motosumiyoshi)

4. check my heart rate (61 beats per minute)

5. type C-t (write timestamp) in emacs

- - - -

One of the above took the bulk of the time.

I'm pretty happy with my heart rate.

I paused for a moment as I crossed Toyoko line and the other one. I considered walking home along (on) the tracks, but I'm not sure what type of trouble I would find if I were caught.

- - - -

It seems I could walk to work from home in 74 minutes.

zzzz

3:13am JST Tuesday 16 November 2004

Woo. Now I'm definitely falling asleep.

ps: the movie, Bandits, was good.