Entries this day: AM_Dream Cancel_Satoko Daily_rune Gateway_data1 Louise_rune Pics_from_Fujikyu_Highland Pooey karaoke no_karaoke zzzz_gateway_data

AM Dream

10:14am JST Thursday 30 December 2004

Olivia was dancing around singing, "I'm a taaaxi, I'm a taaaxi, I'm a taxi taxi taxi!" while playing castanets

I was wanting to travel somewhere new, like to New York. I wanted to do my 11,000 mile drive again; I wondered if people would let me visit them again, or if I had overstayed my welcome in all cases. My dad told me something I didn't want to hear (*) about how I was living my life.

(*) which I don't remember (cause I didn't want to hear it?)

Cancel Satoko

10:35am JST Thursday 30 December 2004

Pooh.

Satoko cancelled hanging out with me today. I feel sad; I had been looking forward to it for well over a week. I don't understand most of the kanji in her text message; I imagine it could be an explanation.

So now I have an opportunity to re-design my day.

Daily rune

10:59am JST Thursday 30 December 2004

This is my rune for today: Gebo, partnership. Do not fall into a relationship. Remember to let the winds of Heaven dance between you.

- - - -

3:32pm JST Thursday 30 December 2004

Despite the rune's guidance above, I called Louise to see if I should come over, and before I recognized what I was doing, it was too late to hang up; her phone rang; caller ID had been sent; I couldn't take back the phone call.

Ah, I didn't think to say "oh I'm sorry I called the wrong person..."

The phonecall went,.. poorly, I judge, and I wasn't in my power, but dancing around desperation.

Hung up; meditated a bit; went home by way of the grocery where I bought some foodage for the next couple days.

Gateway data1

3:36pm JST Thursday 30 December 2004

CD/track             Wave II / Threshold 1: Introduction to Focus 12
body position        flat on back with legs bent
CD player            Panasonic SL-CT510
headphones           Audio-Technica ATH-T3
ambient temperature  18 C
clothing             socks, long johns, undies, dark turtleneck shirt, Hitomi-knit cap
working nostril(s)   left
emotional state      calm, wide awake
physical             
head                 tiny headache
stomach              happy
pain/soreness        left middle finger
phone/door	     off/locked
time allowed	     plenty
ambient light	     daylight through curtains
ambient noise	     gas heater fan
date/time            3:46pm JST Thursday 30 December 2004
location	     Millenium House, room 20

5:02pm

I was awake for bits and pieces of that. I was relaxed for both tracks. I remember having fallen asleep before the harmonic voices on the first track.

During the second track, the question I tossed out to the universe: "What is the next big project I'll work on this lifetime?"

Louise rune

7:47pm JST Thursday 30 December 2004

The issue is Louise's party. Shall I go?

I chose Jera, which applies to any endeavour to which I am committed. I should remember, however, that no quick results can be expected.

Jera has no reverse, so can't be easily asked to answer a yes/no question, so I asked again, "is it in my best.."

"Is it in the best interest for everyone involved for me to go to the party?"

I chose Othila-reversed. Consider not only what will benefit you, but what will benefit others. remember: we do without doing and everything gets done.

Don't go.

Pics from Fujikyu Highland

8:53pm JST Thursday 30 December 2004

These pics were taken in Feb 2004 when janette and I went to Fujikyu Highland.

This is Dodonpa.

This is Mt Fuji visible behind the park. Dodonpa and the ferris wheel can be seen. The big-splash boat ride is in front of Dodonpa. The three-wing building in the foreground is the old haunted house at Fujikyu Highland. Before that, it was apparently a hospital. This picture was taken from Double Loop's chain lift.

A movie, too:

Orichi (suspended coaster) in Expoland, Osaka, Japan (2.6 megs)

Pooey

10:38pm JST Thursday 30 December 2004

I'm just in a crap mood, possibly due to dealing with having no Hitomi trying to come over and like me. Katrina and Jen are just watching movies and drinking all day; I can't stand too much of their banter at a time.

Satoko cancelled; I cancelled Louise-party; wah wah poor me.

Stupid Japan. How is it that I've been here for nearly 2 years? I should just fucking leave tonight. I'm sick of this place. I just need to cry and cry.

karaoke

10:57pm JST Thursday 30 December 2004

Jen invited me to join her and Katrina for karaoke. Awesome.

no karaoke

1:58am JST Friday 31 December 2004

Not awesome. Well, the invitation was awesome, but the reality just wasn't good for me. Katrina seems to enjoy being specifically annoying. She stood in the street as a truck was trying to go by. The truck driver honked at her and she continued to stand there, looking blankly at the angry driver.

In the karaoke place, while we were waiting, she stood in the middle of the already-small-enough area for people to walk, as people were trying to walk and having to politely squeeze by her.

I was like, "why are you so mean?"

She goes, "why are you so passive?"

I didn't have a good answer that couldn't easily be answered back in the same copycat manner, so I said nothing.

Not much later, Katrina goes, "Rob looks like he wants to hit someone; but he won't; he would never hit anyone; he just internalizes it. I find it very interesting."

I said, "I'm glad you're so interested."

I checked inside, and yep, she was right. I wanted to punch her fucking lights out, and yes, I was internalizing it. Time to go.

I gave Jen a hug and said, "this is not working for me," and left.

- - - -

Watched Discovery Channel's program on The Valley of Kings in Egypt. The girls arrived home just as it was ending. As I left the room, I noticed there is beer or something spilled on the table in the TV room, soaking the newspaper. I am pretty sure it wasn't there when I came in. I wonder who spilled, and I wonder who will clean it up.

I wonder why I am so passive.

- - - -

Jen texted me to see if I was okay, and when she got home, she told me she didn't notice what was happening between Katrina and I as it was happening.

zzzz gateway data

2:28am JST Friday 31 December 2004

CD/track             Wave II / Threshold 1: Introduction to Focus 12
body position        flat on back with legs bent
CD player            Panasonic SL-CT510
headphones           Audio-Technica ATH-T3
ambient temperature  18 C
clothing             socks, long undies, turtleneck, Hitomi-knit cap
working nostril(s)   right
emotional state      a bit sad
physical             tired, a little heartburn
head                 fine
stomach              fine
pain/soreness        almost none
phone/door	     off/locked
time allowed	     all night
ambient light	     nearly dark
ambient noise	     gas heater fan
date/time            2:30am JST Friday 31 December 2004
location	     Millenium House, room 20

4:17am

Just woke up. Wow. Didn't even notice the end of either track.

Had dreams about telling Ayana how long I had before having to wake up.