Entries this day: AM dream

AM

8:49am JST Thursday 31 March 2005

I'm choosing not to go to Kyoto with Sally, Jazzy and Kelly; I basically will be constrained by lack of a JR Rail Pass so that will keep me from as easily going anywhere around the city.

Plus this will give me some time to continue gettting ready for P To Da B and TJ Bike adventures. It's only 66 kilometers to Hakone (according to my GPS) so I can get there in a day (if I don't get lost). It will be my first adventure climbing many big hills.

- - - -

My stomach was all knotted up before telling them I didn't want to go. I had told them I would go, and specifically had told Sally I wanted to go wherever she did. But that has changed now.

9:03am

There we go.

Got some of the tension out. I had come into their room, and was sitting, basically afraid to talk to Sally cause I didn't know what would be her reaction. I had shown Jasmine a diagram of how to get to Shinkansen stations, but didn't show Sally cause I believed she was deep in thought in her book. I gave Sally the list of phone numbers Hitomi had given me, but (I realize now that) I didn't give her much help with it; there are three prices listed, which Hitomi had explained to me, but I hadn't explained to Sally. I simply explained which hotels spoke English.

I started checking my email, a nice safe way to pass the time, and saw a link of places to stay in Kyoto sent to me by Sally.

Showed her the list, but things were set to break. Sally said she wanted Kelly to help because I wasn't willing to help (and was just sitting there like a dickhead (scared to talk; fair enough)); Kelly said no. I said I would help. Sally said no; that I was just shut up and leave her alone.

- - - -

Crap. I wonder how things would have been different had I told Sally I wasn't willing to go when I had come down to the kitchen to find her. My stomach was all knotted up and I just couldn't. Too afraid of how she might react to whatever I said.

- - - -

So now I'm alone in my room. I think Kelly is alone in their room; Jasmine had already gone downstairs; I think Sally went out just after I did when she told me to shut up and leave her alone.

Would it be helpful to find Sally and listen/talk/argue with her?

- - - -

Just as I wrote that, Kelly came into my room and asked me to call some numbers to make reservations for Kyoto and Hiroshima.

9:54am

I can hear Kelly and Jasmine leaving now; they turned off the electricity to the room, so I'm guessing Sally is with them, or has already left.

dream

11:45pm JST Thursday 31 March 2005

Going to OMs office, to meet Hitomi who was already in there. Walked down the hall and it was the second door of three rooms all in a row. The first door was ajar and I could see in it as I opened the second room.

I was wearing a pink tie and I had just put my pants on while Jennifer waited for me to get my stuff together as we got off the elevator from the previous scene which involved eating in a cafeteria maybe.

I opened the door, ready for some lovin' with Hitomi, and was surprised to find my dad was in there as well. I played it cool like I always wore my shirt this far unbuttoned with my pink tie, and I was glad I had my pants on. I said HI to him and moved over to a different bench than where I normally sat.

The room was shaped like a semi circular lecture room and I had come in from one side with the desks curving away and to the right. My dad was sitting on my left in the back of the circle and Hitomi was sitting near the front of the circle. I came in the middle row of desks and was surprised to see my dad, but was glad I was wearing clothes and moved toward the front inner desks and saw a video about back when the place when the very room we were in was being built and how a kid was being abused and forced to work on the flickering video, and I tried to recognize something from the video that was still in existance today, but couldn't necessarily do it. The phone rang and it could only be OM so I went to the phone and they were talking and eating and being loud and I was like, "be quiet, stop eating you're not supposed to be in here," and they stopped and I answered the phone but it got dark just at that moment and I was like, oh crap how can I see anything and I was trying to figure out if I could let on to him that it was dark and what he would think was normal. But then I woke up.