Entries this day: Noonish Post_noon State_of_my_Life

Noonish

1:55pm ART Tuesday 14 February 2006

Today has been a day off for us. I was the only GET who showed up for the Meet The Guests thing, and I was late to that. Been working a bit on curriculum for open lessons for tomorrow and the next day. I am supposed to do two more Intermediate/Advanced lessons. I may or may not do the one I planned for tomorrow; my days to do it are the day after tomorrow and the day after that.

Today several people are wearing numbers. If two people each choose each others' numbers, then they will be announced as Valentine's Day matches tonight between 11pm and 1am at some event on top deck. I haven't decided who I would even choose if I saw their number, but we'll see how it goes.

I finished 2.5 title images for the daily paper today.

Post noon

4:33pm ART Tuesday 14 February 2006

Found Saki up on top deck, when my original plan was to meditate; ended up talking to her and her peeps for a couple hours. Mostly not talking; the language barrier is a challenge that I don't know if I want to face, although トニ, one of her friends, speaks English really well.

I told her that I generally want to bite her neck, but that would cause hella problems, and friendship first would be a better idea. We are scheduled to go to dinner this evening at 7:30.

In the back of my foolish mind I am concerned about what I told Hitomi (no g/f on PB) and Rei (I would commit to her no matter what she said (she said friends only)). Am I foolish or a fool for thinking I'm foolish?

State of my Life

4:47pm ART Tuesday 14 February 2006

State of My Life

1. This was going to be a State of My Valentine's Life, but I quickly decided I don't want to write about that (exclusively).

2. In fact, I may not be in the mood to write much at all.

3. I have labeled myself as a sex addict at various times in my life. I've been to SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) meetings, though I haven't worked through the 12 steps, nor ever had a sponsor, etc.

4. I have tended to continually seek the next woman, then the next, the next, next, next, etc. never finding 100 percent compatibility or perfection or whatever it is that Happily Ever After is supposed to mean.

5. I know (?) that something has got to change inside me before any real resolution can occur in this pattern.

6. On PBs 52nd voyage, I met Rei across the hall from me, found her to be quite dateable, told her I still had unresolved issues with Hitomi back in Japan, ended up somewhat broken hearted in friends-only mode.

7. Just 2 days ago, on our first day in Buenos Aires, I met Saki, in whom I became interested when I learned she is trained in accupuncture, shiatsu, and hot coal therapy (I don't know a name for that in English or Japanese). She's also tall and has a nice smile, and apparently well-versed in some form of Buddism. But, we don't speak a shared language. Hmmmm.

   Crap. Should I just give it up? Not according to If the Buddha Dated, which I'm using as my dating bible these days. I just need to try and keep open communication and not jump into the sack with her.

8. We are scheduled for dinner tonight at 7:30, and will possibly both choose each other's names in the ドキドキ Valentine's thing tonight.

9. I have flipped a coin several times about this issue and it keeps saying Don't Go.

   Three Rune Spread for the issue of My Relationship with Saki:

   1. Overview: Algiz reversed

      Control of the emotions is at issue here. During times of transition, shifts in life course and accelerated self-change, it is important not to collapse yourself into your emotions, the highs as well as the lows. New opportunities and challenges are typical of this Rune. And with them may come trespasses and unwanted influences.

      Algiz serves as a mirror for the Spiritual Warrior, the one whose battle is always with the self. The Warrior's protection is like the curved horns of the elk, or the warning rustle of the sedge grass, for both serve to keep open space around you.

      Remain mindful that timely right action and correct conduct are your only true protection. If you find yourself feeling pain, observe the pain, stay with it. Do not try to pull down the veil and escape from life by denying what is happening. You will progress; knowing that is your protection.

      reversed be thoughtful about your health and do not add to the burdens others are carrying. Look carefully at the associations you form at this time. If you see fit to become involved with people who are using you, remain conscious of that fact and take responsibility for your own position; then you can only benefit. And yet, regardless of whether your enterprise prospers or suffers, do not be overly concerned. You may not win, but you will never lose, for you can always learn from what takes place.

      Temperance and courtesy are the sinews of this Rune's protective powers.

   2. Challenge: Ansuz reversed

      The keynote here is receiving: messages, signals, gifts. Even a timely warning may be seen as a gift. The message may be that of a new life unfolding. New lives begin with new connecitons, surprising linkages that direct you onto new pathways. Take care now to be especially aware during meetings, visits, chance encounters, particularly with persons wiser than yourself. When the Messenger Rune brings sacred knowledge, you are truly blessed.

      Loki is the ancient trickster from the pantheon of the Norse gods. He is the heyeohkah of the Native Americans, a mocking shadow of the creator god, as will as the bringer of benefits to humankind. He is a reminder that even scoundrels and arch-thieves can be the bearers of wisdom. When you draw this Rune, expect the unexpected: The message is always a call, a call to new life.

      Ansuz is the first of the thirteen Runes that make up the Cycle of Initiation--Runes that focus directly upon the mechanism of self-change--and as such, addresses our need to integrate unconsious motive with conscious intent.

      Drawing Ansuz tells you that connection with the Divine is at hand. It is a signal to explore the depths, the foundations of life, and to experience the inexhaustible wellspring of the Divine in your nature.

      At the same time, you are reminded that you must first draw from the well to nourish and give to yourself. Then there will be more than enough to nourish others. A new sense of family solidarity invests this Rune.

      reversed You may be concerned over what appears to be failed communication, lack of clarity or awarensss either in your past history or in a present situation. You may feel inhibited from accepting what is offered. A sense of futility, of wasted motion, may overwhelm you. Remember, however, that what is happening is timely to your process. If the well is clogged, this is the moment for cleaning out the old. Reversed, Ansuz is saying Consider the uses of adversity.

   3. Appropriate Action: Inguz

      The Rune is akin to the moon, the intuitive part of our nature, with its urge toward harmonizing and adjusting in the sphere of personal relationship. Inguz embodies the need to share, the yearing to be desired, a search after similarities.

      The completion of beginnings is what Inguz requires. Drawing this Rune may mark a time of joyful deliverance, a new life, a new path. A Rune of great power, receiving it means you now have the strength to achieve completion, resolution, from which comes a new beginning. Above all, completion is crucial here. It may be timely that you complete some project now; if so, make that your first priority. Perhaps a difficult sate of mind can be clarified or resolved. The appearance of the Rune indicates that you must fertilize the ground for your own deliverance.

      All things change and we cannot live permanently amid obstructions. Inguz signals your emergence from a closed, chrysalis state. As you resolve and clear away the old, you will experience a release from tension and uncertainty.

      You may be required to free yourself from a rut, habit or relationship; from some deep cultural or behavioral pattern, some activity that was quite proper to the self you are leaving behind. The time of birth is always a critical one. Movement can involve danger, and yet movement that is timely leads out of danger. The time has come to enter the delivery room.

      Another of the Cycle Runes, Inguz counsels preparation. Being centered and grounded, freeing yourself from all unwanted influences and seeing the humor, you are indeed prepared to open to the Will of Heaven and await your deliverance with calm certainty.

   (Rune descriptions taken without permission from Ralph H. Blum's _The Book of Runes_.)

10. 10:59pm ART Tuesday 14 February 2006

    Dinner was with a tableful of people instead of just two people, but that's cool; I heard a rumor that she drinks more than I might appreciate so I was like, ain't no way I'm dating her, but we went out to the top deck anyway and looked at stars for a while.

11. Also, we agreed that we would not go to the ドキドキ thing on top deck; we don't want to be "announced" as a couple.