Entries this day: Are_they_trying_to_increase_toothpaste_sales?? How_to_get_toothpaste_around_security No_Akane akane

Are they trying to increase toothpaste sales??

8:33am JST Monday 25 September 2006 (day 13333)

It's a god damned nightmare. Fuck you, George Bush. You're a fucking dick.

How to get toothpaste around security

8:36am JST Monday 25 September 2006 (day 13333)

I don't actually know if this will work, but it's based on a guess that the metal detectors can't also (have been refitted to) be liquid detectors.

I think they found my dangerous life threatening toothpaste only because the cat dug through my bag due to the laptop, etcetera in it. He pulled out my travel size tube of toothpaste (and also an old tube of superglue that went through (from Narita to Incheon) with no worries) and showed me the (laminated) regulation in several different languages explaining that we are not allowed to brush our teeth on the plane.

I tossed the sheet onto the counter and was like, "yeah yeah, WHY?"

(( Why is every other country so stupidly blindly following the United Snakes of America, the whiney pissy country of Terrorism Inc? It's a fucking nightmare.

Why aren't we revolting? Why didn't I throw down the toothpaste gauntlet and scream, "you want toothpaste terror? This is the worst it can get!!" and squirt toothpaste all over the place, temporarily staining their suits with toothpaste and making the floor and counters a bit cleaner with its whitener?? ))

He didn't answer, and then collected the offending items as I was like, "can't you just put them in the fucking box and the thing?" too flustered to even use words properly.

He was like, "checked luggage?"

"Yeah! (that)"

He gave me my contraband toothpaste and was like, "follow me" and then "wait here" outside a room labeled "RE-SCREENING" (or some such), and then out backwards through a side entrance of security and then out into the dangerous toothpaste zone, where any felon could assault me with toothpaste.

What?? he just fucking kicked me outside! What kind of customer service is that?? (nothing like Narita, where they gave me a box for my super dangerous pocket knife, back when we didn't even know toothpaste was dangerous! (what fools we were!!))

And really, I can't think of a more dangerous situation. I was pissed, wielding toothpaste, and unaccompanied by security. I could have squirted toothpaste everywhere and I really considered it, except I guessed I was on security cameras, and that it would only mess up some low wage custodian's morning.

I stood for literally four minutes, wondering what to do. Ideas:

1. squirt toothpaste on the floor

2. throw it away and be done

3. try to get a box and check it

4. try to check *only* the toothpaste. (this idea didn't come to mind at that moment, but had it, I may have tried it)

5. fill my bag with thumbtacks so the screeners won't want to check it

6. squirt toothpaste on George Bush's floor

7. Collect all the thrown-away toothpaste in the world and ship it to his house

8. Tuck it into my sock or shorts; I don't think the metal detectors can detect it (a plastic tube)

9. put toothpaste all over my face like a mud mask

I went to the restroom, squeezing the tube until it finally burst. I squirted some in the sink. I'm so disappointed to waste toothpaste. Chucked the 3/4 full tube into the garbage. And the old tube of super glue.

Back to security, but they saw a stamp on my ticket (that's what they guy had done in the RE-SCREENING room) and were like, "the other door"

Went to the other door and got a cursory screening. As in, they did *not* have me pull all the shit out of my backpack.

And *that*, my friends, is where I could have put the toothpaste. Exactly back where it had been.

No Akane

9:16am JST Monday 25 September 2006 (day 13333)

Despite my pissy antics, I got through the ticketing line, security, and to the gate in 45 minutes. Akane and I had planned to arrive by 8am; she still hasn't made it to the gate.

akane

2:59pm JST Tuesday 26 September 2006 (day 13334)

Akane arrived as the flight was boarding; we didn't chat during the flight, but got ample (though sleepy) talk time during the train back to Yamanote Line. We mostly chatted in Japanese. I can barely remember the details now, but I remember hoping to see the Hana Korea crew again soon. (perhaps in October)