Entries this day: Dream Frack Tasks_for_today Work

Dream

7:03am JST Tuesday 24 October 2006 (day 13362)

black bears hibernate in the winter and forage for berries in the spring. Our black bear was the opposite so had to wear a winter coat to live in the winter, foraging for holiday treats, and shave his hair in the summer when he slept.

The science for this research has been quite careful, with all the correct paperwork being signed and organized.

one other dream I can't remember.

Frack

10:50am JST Tuesday 24 October 2006 (day 13362)

Fucking hell that was short. My "resolve" has lasted nearly a day and now I'm back to fuckit I don't want to do anything.

I didn't notice the transition, even though it's happened relatively quickly. Sometime this morning, it seems, when I woke up early, got some shit done, then didn't stay away from the computer and online porn. Napped after that and the whole thing (in my brain) has gone to shit.

In the 12 step recovery program, they describe a self-destructive spiral of getting high, then feeling bad/shame about it and then going for another fix to get over it. Seems like (if that model is true) then I'm in the shame department.

but what caused the crash? That's what I didn't notice. Even as I knew porn-search was a non-optimal choice, I didn't/couldn't stop it.

Weird.

Tasks for today

1:54am JST Tuesday 24 October 2006 (day 13362)

1. * Reika lesson

2. X finish hand writing TJ Bike accident in Japanese

3. X do one day of TJ Bike trip map

4. * Tariq's list

5. * call art shop

6. X ask Michael about Flash

7. look up I-group resources online

10:58am JST Tuesday 24 October 2006 (day 13362)

Part of the problem relates to this list; I don't want to study right now; I don't want to not have already done the thing for Tariq. It's due tomorrow and I've not started. Reika's lesson starts now (soon as she arrives) and I've just found the blank paper I allocated for the project. Perhaps after the lesson I can do it.

12:06pm JST Tuesday 24 October 2006 (day 13362)

Good lesson with Reika. Only 2 more left! :-(

1:16pm JST Tuesday 24 October 2006 (day 13362)

Cool; been working on the game; I can do this. :-)

Work

1:38pm JST Tuesday 24 October 2006 (day 13362)

The student who I described as shocking after our first lesson emailed me "HI Sexy"

Work starts soon.