Entries this day: Today Tonight coaching

Today

1:55pm JST Wednesday 25 October 2006 (day 13363)

Super quick entry just to capture having had a successful meeting with Tariq, Michael and the guy with whom we're designing the game.

Now headed to Japanese lesson; I'll barely make it on time to my station.

I'm excited about trying to write this game that I've designed called Pic Words. It's just a little goofy game, but could be pretty cool. Tariq is managing the project, so he'll send me an email on whether he'd like me to work on that game or begin laying out another one.

Things to do: copy the sheets I drew for this game.

Tonight

9:55pm JST Wednesday 25 October 2006 (day 13363)

Just about to skype with Kim Sawyer in Houston, our "first" of hopefully several coaching sessions designed to propel my life into a greater space.

coaching

10:53pm JST Wednesday 25 October 2006 (day 13363)

took me a bit, but I expressed anger to Kim for not having started the coaching session on time, and we looked carefully at what was happening and I'm getting some insights

If I admire someone and work to emulate what I like, then I can bring my life forward to where I want to be.

If I admire someone and feel "less than" them, then the relationship can damage my Self.

This dynamic plays a huge role in "falling in love" with women / not being able to communicate with women who I think are end-all-be-all awesome.

there are some things I see that are moderately interesting / neutral.  
In general, these are responses about that person, or my judgements of their charactersitics.

Sometimes I have responses to people that really trigger me.  from anger toward that person, to the
abject awesome feeling of desire/love/respect for that person...  Those are projections

.... okay, not just "bigger" but bigger than what reality supports

the essential characteristic is not that the response is more than "normal"

it's more than what fits the reality of that situation or person

-----

projection is what I do unconsciously ...

Just as he said that, the skype connection broke and I was like, "ahhhh!!" and had a bit of an over-reaction to a simple disconnect. I wonder if that over-reaction can be mapped to the same thing as projection.

11:40pm JST

reconnected

projection is what my psyche does with whatever part of me that I disown or deny or fail to express

when we block it in ourselves we identify with it in other places

Like Kim, Rei, Cameron...

write down all the adjectives I see as desireable.  the ones that really stand out: go pursue them in my own life

take the ones that remain and pursue a relationship with her on that

Read Lying with the Heavenly Woman by Robert Johnson

Make a budget, save some cash for me

I want you to see in yourself the greatness I see in you.