Entries this day: 24_man,_man God Tomoko nin

24 man, man

9:12am JST Saturday 17 February 2007 (day 13478)

Holy shit! I just realized that in the past 4 months I repayed 240,000 yen, which is basically 1/6th of the price of a 100 day voyage on PB.

So, especially as I begin increasing my income, such a voyage is well-within reach. Sweeeet.

God

11:05pm JST Saturday 17 February 2007 (day 13478)

I got this message from Jesse tonight:

Rob,

Sorry for the delay. Ok, but I can see something else where we differ.  God and I have a
relationship, as you may have. But this relationship is different. And you are right in saying that
the Bible is consuming. The Bible at first tells us to be fruitful and multiply. This is the first
command from God. Then last from God through Christ was basically the same thing, but in a different
way. Christ said to tell all nations about the Gospel, and to baptize them.

What this is saying, is that we are making a spiritual community of God.  And new kind of way to "Be
fruitful and multiply." This magnification is of a spiritual sense. It means to find other's who God
has chosen and those which who also have chosen God. These are the people that try to love with
there heart, rather than their brain. Those who can't do things right, but try with their
heart. Loving first God, then His brother or sister.

Rob's religion, is isolated. No one knows your God. No one knows how to build a relationship with
Rob's God. You are alone in this. You efforts may be great, but you are still doing it by
yourself. It doesn't help others. This is why God as Christ had to come, to let us know how to have
this community of God, while still being imperfect. You know nothing on this earth achieves
perfection.

So how can we make the imperfect perfect? It means that we have to eliminate the perfection or
include the perfection into the imperfection. If I show you the perfect egg, and we compare others
to it, then we will never find one to compare to it. But if judge and we say, "No this perfect egg
really is the same as the rest." All the others are either now OK or all are not OK. But since it is
the same throughout, it must be the norm. That is what Christ is doing. Being perfect, made to be
judged like you and me, dies like you and me.

Conceptually speaking both on a higher lever and a lower, Christ is Love. He demonstrates this by
giving his entire life to one cause, you, and I a relationship with God. He is God, and yet is the
connection to God. Because we all know can see that death is the end of life, yet Christ overcame
this, and shows that you can overcome this as well. So we know that the relationship I just talked
about will last. But I think you know everything in this paragraph.

You are far ahead of most people. You have found God in a way through the signs in the world, and
through other people's thoughts, and your own deep thinking. It is amazing how well you get it,
Rob. And you can practice it very well too. Question is, is it your way God's way? I see that you
recognize that God is unfathomable. This is a way you have humbled yourself. But have you humbled
yourself in all areas, or are you holding onto something?

I hope this is received well. I have respect for you, and always tell me if it is gone too far.

In Christ, which truly means In Love by His life demonstration and not just in some guy, which love,
being the highest of all, is not a language of one, but love is known to all, being God, yet a
choice for you,


Jesse

John 3:16
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son (the one who was perfect in loving
as he God himself loves), that whoever believes (accepts, practices his teachings) in him shall not
perish but have eternal life (with God)."
It starts now...

And my reply:

Hey Jesse

Thanks for your reply.

  >  Rob's religion, is isolated. No one knows your God. No one knows how to
  >  build a relationship with Rob's God.


Of course.  Each person is a unique and individual being, with his/her own perception of his/her own
universe.  Even if we are standing right next to each other, we see two slightly different things.

In your perception of your universe, you have found a community of like-minded people with whom you
can socialize, contemplate, learn-by-teaching, love-through-giving, etc.  It's great for you.  It's
wonderful for you.  I support you in continuing your pursuit and helping those who are spiritually
lost become spiritually connected.

This lifetime, I seem to choose to do things that are difficult.  (And sometimes I don't.)

For example, I came over to Japan to learn a difficult language, and I've given up.  And I've
regained やるき。 And I've given up.  And started over.  And so on and slowly have been semi-sorta
learning Japanese.

One of my basic life goals is to live my life so that just before I die, I can think, "good job,
Rob." and be proud of myself.

I pretty much believe I'm not going to die for a while.  I've had some pretty interesting accidents
and have enjoyed 100% recovery.  I'm not so bold as to think I'm invincible, and as I wrote the
preceding paragraph, I realized it's important to live my life in such a way that I'm *continually*
proud of my work; so that at any moment I can die and think, "good job, Rob." and be proud of
myself.

Before I get quite sidetracked: I often choose to do things that are difficult, because they are
difficult.  I like to extend myself, to see what this body can do.  Can I ride my bicycle from Tokyo
to Kyoto?  Yes.  Can I ride with an overloaded bicycle and crappy brakes down a particularly curvy
steep hill in Hakone?  No.  But now I *know* that.  I've experienced it.  And it was great.  Even as
I sat on the side of the road with broken shoulder I thanked my angels and was happy for the
experience.  "Good job, Rob, you've finally broken your shoulder!"  I had often wondered what it
would be like to break my shoulder.

SO, before I get sidetracked, I'll just say that I like to do things that are difficult.  I am
making my marble track as a free-style art project.  I have basically no plan of what it will look
like.  I cook Roboyaki without a recipe.  I'm often happier without directions.

I like to pursue my spiritual connection with God in my own way.  Without directions.  Just taking
bits and pieces as they come and feel right at the moment.

SO, the bible basically represents my worst nightmare.  I see it as huge set of directions in which
I have absolutely no interest.  I disbelieve that (even if it were written with the inspiration of
God) The Bible has survived translations and generations intact.  I choose to get any and all
direction from God via *my* perception of *my* universe.

God, being infinite, utterly fills my universe; I need only open myself to God.  I choose to learn
how to do that in my own way.

I don't want to spread "Rob's Religion."  There's no way I would presume to know how others should
experience God for themselves.


   > But have you humbled yourself in all areas, or are you holding onto something? 


I like this question.  I had never considered it before.  I have certainly not humbled myself in all
areas.  As I think about it, I don't think we should humble ourselves in all areas.  I believe
everyone has talent; everyone has some light to bring the world.  In each person's own arena, s/he
is the best in the world.  In many areas, each person is the best in his/her own community.  Why not
call forth these talents to the benefit of those in the community?

I'm definitely "holding onto" the belief that the bible is flawed and not the way I choose to
connect with God.  I've sliced and diced this question in my mind many times.  No book written in
human words can possibly convey the Message Of God.  Even if the words convey not the Message Of
God, but the "Humans' Digest" version, I don't believe it can remain pure over the centuries.

And even if the message *is* pure, if I don't *believe* it's pure, my perception of it won't be pure.

That's not to say that God doesn't use words to help convey messages to me.  Words are just symbolic
reminders of feelings that we've had in the past.  Some words trigger different feelings in my
brain.  Some words, arranged in particular ways, chime pleasant chords in my mind at different
levels.  Some of these open up spiritual connection to God.  If I feel this connection, I'll sit
with it for a while.  Relax in the presence of the universe.

Words are not the only way I am moved to connect with God.  It could be a song, a flower, a gunshot
wound, a cat, a sunset, writer's block, or a guy sitting on the steps.  I try to continually feel
God's presence in my life, and receive messages in various mediums.  It seems only natural that God
would communicate to me with natural processes.

Ummm.  とりあえず、それだけ。

　　ー路武

Tomoko

3:06pm JST Saturday 17 February 2007 (day 13478)

Tomoko is a woman who takes Jamie's lessons each week here in Kichijoji. She's "trying to convert" a gay man to straight (as if that can happen) and gives updates of her progress (in terms of bases that were vogue in 3rd grade).

Last week or so, Jamie told Tomoko I was attracted to her and that I like strange girls and girls with braces. During my break, Jamie was like, "Rob, c'mere; Tomoko has something to show you" so I went in and Tomoko was all saying she would get braces, and for an instant I thought about saying, "if you get braces, I'll kiss you" and was thinking I could kiss her semi-jokingly right now.. but I was wise enough *not* to engage in such antics.

Then she was trying to set me up with some of her friends, via pictures on her cellphone and my YES/NO vote like hotornot.com. I agreed one of them was cute, and she was all excited for a bit, etc.. At the end of the lesson I was like, "but I have a girlfriend, so 全然できない"

Can't go chasing random tails.

nin

Sold Out

dang.