Entries this day: Dream_ultimate_army Good_training Phone_died nearly_home

Dream ultimate army

7:24am JST Sunday 23 September 2007 (day 13696)

In the shower area after playing ultimate, and I went into the stall that Jason had just used. I accidentally splashed him with water and he got pretty whiney mad like "wah wah wah," but I knew he was just looking for attention, so I sprayed him in the face with water. He was shocked, and tried to cover it by smilingly shaking my hand so that he could punch me with his other hand. I knew what was coming, so I dodged a bit while telling him why it would be a bad idea to do that. "I won't hit you back, so you won't get the satisfaction of a fight, so why would you even want to start one?"

We were on a bus, stuck in traffic, and an old woman carrying groceries fell on an escalator. I saw that no one else was helping her, so I busted off the bus and ran over to her. Tossed some eggs out of the way and picked her up in both hands. She was tiny, like a little just born kitten, kinda squirmy and with egg white on her. I didn't know what to do, but she appeared to be okay. A nurse came over and was impressed with my help so far. I was like, "yeah, but I don't know what to do now," and she was like, "give her to me, and it will be okay," so I handed her over and then looked up at where the bus had been stuck in traffic.

Traffic was completely cleared out and there were multiple soldiers in fatigues, facing in toward the street pointing their guns. Then there was a soldier behind each of them, with their even larger guns directly pointed *right* at their lower backs, with basically the message, "if you don't do your job, I will kill you instantly." I was shocked, and believed I'd be safe if I took a picture from my vantage point. I did, and my camera was on super-fast mode and just like click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click taking pictures of this scene, and then the presidential limosuine came through with its accompanying vehicles.

After it came through, all the soldiers packed up their gear, and then I was whisked forward to where the bus had been headed, passing the bus in a blink of time. I had been grouped up with the hospital group by getting off the bus and helping that woman. Just waiting for the bus and woke up.

Good training

3:55pm JST Sunday 23 September 2007 (day 13696)

This has been a great training.

I'm ready to do more trainings. And more and more.

Phone died

8:14pm JST Sunday 23 September 2007 (day 13696)

Just called Ami, but the phone died before I could even finish saying "my phone might die in a second," but fortunately, I had already copied her number down so I can use someone else's phone to call her.

I'm feeling a bit anxious now because I "left her hanging" and the guys are all talking and I'm embarrassed to just go ask someone to borrow his phone. I'll go do that now.

nearly home

11:05pm JST Sunday 23 September 2007 (day 13696)

Have just arrived on the train I'll take from Shibuya to Motosumiyoshi, although somehow I think I've errored in that it's not going to be the first train to get there, but I've got plenty to write, so I'm stayin' put.

Just some thoughts from the weekend experience; I had never thought about it as just as important or life changing as my initial warrior training in November 1997. But what changed my thinking was our check out, especially after receiving talismans. We checked out with our training date. I enjoyed being able to say Japan as the location; I project into the future it will be "cool" to say Japan and such an early date for the country (the first training in Japan) especially if there are many trainings with which it can be compared.

I'm really glad to have had 栄二 on the weekend. He's new to personal work, and did a great job, integrating with us, especially considering the age difference, and especially especially considering that he did most of his work in Japanese, we got to see Takeshi doing his work in Japanese and facilitation done in Japanese, and it gave me a vision of a future where we can have a lot of Japanese men helping heal themselves and each other through this work.

I got some real blessings during the weekend. I discovered a lot of shame I have held since 3rd grade when my heart was hurt (I want to use the word "crushed" or "destroyed", but we were cautioned against giving too much power to our stories via word choice..)

My heart was hurt by a miss in love,

Interesting, I seem to be falling asleep, perhaps as a way to not tell the story.

I really liked this girl though I can't consciously recall her name now) and some girls put fake love notes from her on my desk.

I was all upset when I found out they were fake, but it was a bearable pain. haha you're jerks; fine.

But, around the same time, I had written a love note to her and wadded it up super small, and placed it on her desk, hoping she would open it, read it, and we'd get married or something.

She saw me put the small wad of paper on her desk and instead of opening it and marrying me, she flicked it off the desk with her finger.

Dang. That hurt.

During the weekend it became apparent I still have a great charge over this story, and a lot of sadness / shame around it. So, (I'm falling asleep again)

So it looks like I would benefit from having some closure with her. I may do some work on it myself, or at our next i-group meeting, or perhaps tomorrow (perhaps), when we are having one more training thing: Emotional Mastery.

I'm super super happy that Ami will be there.)

Ami and i are already well versed at communicating on these subjects, so I'm looking forward to her getting a bit more of the vocabulary, and a bit of an idea of what I do in i-group.

Okay, now I'm definitely definitely getting tired.

And we are supposed to be in Kokubunji at 7:45am tomorrow morning for the next training.