Entries this day: Art Work email_to_Jesse

Art

1:11pm JST Tuesday 26 February 2008 (day 13852)

I uploaded some more pics of the F0 pieces I've been doing. So far, I've started 4 of 9.

Work

5:03pm JST Tuesday 26 February 2008 (day 13852)

This is clipped from a chat with Fred:

And that's all the work I've done at work today.

5:40pm JST

Oh wait. I just remembered I also installed both screen and emacs on the server that serves our website. I treied to get X working the way I want on my machine, but I can't get past the ridiculous issue of backspace key acting wonky. But, after trying to solve it, at least I know a bit of the history of backspace vs delete confusion.

email to Jesse

5:07pm JST Tuesday 26 February 2008 (day 13852)

But I *did* write a significant email to Jesse, in response to his.

First, his:

Subject: This is what I think
Date: 1 August 2007

If there is a God, why are we alive only about 100 years, only to perish without a much of a point?
Unless we are going to continue on in the next. Our God already knows that we are a failed
species. Therefore, we know that there is a next life, and it is with God.
 
To tolerate this life (pain in temporary, but our reward of life in eternal), to show the world who
we are (and proving who we are to the world with love), we live as children of God of Love (for God
is Love), and we are united under God. God made a family, and He gave you the choice to be part of
it or not. So, although you might have a personal relationship with God, there is still a family,
and therefore, never private (meaning only you, your own ideas of God.) If you do not know God, if
you are thinking you think you know, and you don't that is a problem. Sincerity goes both ways, you
can be sincerely right or sincerely wrong. When you are wrong, your relationships with people and
God are fake.
 
So, I see you Rob, with your disgust, your irritation, and your resentment. This I know is due to
your own realization of your limitations and weaknesses. Which can be causing pride to counteract
these weaknesses. The less pride we have, and the more we let God take over, the more we are able to
live and be ourselves, because we were created by God, to be like God, and to do what he
does. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. And this is what I
was saying when I asked you if you would humble yourself, which you seemed to have taken offense to.
 
God, wants to be in every situation, in everything thing that you do, say, do, live. God has
provided a place here for us to grow, because in the eternal heaven with God we can not change. God
cannot be limited by our limitations. He has none. I see God giving more power to ordinary people to
watch them succeed and affect the world. With weakness, we know we need God. And with weakness, we
are made perfect in Christ. Christ (aka God) bowed down to the authority of the world, and let the
world and death conquer Him. This allowed Him to show His true power, that we as humans will be
crushed by the evil force that is not God. But we will rise again because Christ showed us we
can. This is why Christ is our Hope.
 
The world is ruined, and uniting as one does nothing, but united as a separate force does
(Christians vs The World). Many people prefer mediocrity, happy with their TV, video games, beer,
drugs, cigarettes, fashion, and gluttony. You want to be one with them? (You said on your blog "We
are One") You think a person who has let him/herself go to this cares about this? Mom's who kill
their own kids, parent's who neglect their kids food for video games, people who steal money, people
who kill, people who destroy homes with adulatory, even people who lie? Do you think humans can
actually stop this, get together, and become some kind of great force who will live in peace helping
each other? Forget it! Yeah, we put people on the moon but we can't even get along on our own
street, in out own houses, in our own churches, in our own apartments!
 
God's solution for us was to detach from the world, and to live for now on this Earth helping
others, knowing that we will be reborn (because of Christ and what he did) and to live with Him in a
much better place. So, Rob, who I know will be alive for about 50 or so more years, and will become
weaker and slowly physically and mentally deteriorate. You and I, and even a group of us do not have
the power to fight the world and the problems in it. (Besides, as we try to conquer, someone else
with fight and win again after, it is useless.) The government will control all of us, and say it is
for our own good. But, they will never control my spirit, and they will not be able to conquer
Christ when he returns.
 
It is better to tell the enemy "You've won. You can have the world you suckers. Cause the real life
is not here, it has always been in your hearts, and you ignored it." And when your creator looks at
you and says 'What did you do with the life I gave you?' and they realize they blew it, they are
cast away to that deserted island, then it's party time for me and my family.
 
Amen

My reply:

Hey Jesse!!

Interestingly, I got this during my vacation, so I hadn't read it until just now.

I think from the below, I note a distinct difference in our thinking:

You're saying that life on Earth is as good as lost.  No way for humans all to respect each other
and live as one big happy family.

I've never wanted to give up on humanity like that, but, after reading your thoughts, I will concede
that it's unlikely we'll see the world transformed during our lifetimes, AND that I'm unlikely to be
the one who has a great role to play in it.

I appreciate your comments about my humbleness (e.g. my lack of humbleness).  I'm always thinking
about me me ememememe and how I can be great and how I can make the world around me great, and how I
can live my life in an optimal way so everyone around me goes, "wow!  That guy is great!"

BUT

That's not really been the result of "everyone around me."  Now, certainly, there are some people
who think I'm great, and that's great, but truth is, I'm too worried about how *I* appear to the
world, so that I don't make efforts to appreciate the world around me.

(Not sure if I'm on a topic here or what, but I'll keep going)

Last night, during my men's group meeting, I said I wanted to be more outgoing.  I see my friend
Jesse as always outgoing and friendly and selfless.  It was therefore suggested that I begin to
emulate your behavior until I find my own brand of outgoingness, or whatever.

I remember at one point you said, "I don't care what people think of me," or something like that.
How did you come to that decision?  I think I remember you saying there was a time where you *did*
care, and maybe there was a definite moment where you said, "wait!  this isn't working," and stopped
caring what people thought of you.

- - -

When I got offended about the idea of humbling myself, I was meaning to be offended at the idea of
humbling myself before God.  I don't believe God wants us to say/think "God, You're so great, and
I'm so puny."

BUT I can see the value of humbling myself before people (where humbling means to stop worrying
about myself..  how did you put it?


"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less."

Yes, that.  I like that line, and I believe a miracle has occurred in that, though you wrote this
over 6 months ago, just *last* *night* did I get the realization that would help me realize what
you're saying / how it applies to me.

- - -

So here's a weird question: how do I humble myself *and* request more money at work?


  Love Love
    - Rob!