Entries this day: Sad i-group met_Ami

Sad

3:08pm JST Monday 10 March 2008 (day 13865)

I feel really sad today; I imagine it's continued from last night at not knowing wtf I am doing with my life and the prospect of losing Ami as a result. I want to just gtf out of work, but instead am just trying to get fucking PHP installed properly; it's "working" on one level, but about half of the Japanese that's being read from the DB is coming out as ??????????? instead of a larger variety of Japanese characters. If it were *all* the Japanese being read, I could understand more. Damn this sucks.

i group

8:15am JST Tuesday 11 March 2008 (day 13866)

Met my Igroup last night and they helped me distinguish between my sadness regarding losing Ami and fear regarding asserting myself in various situations. They're quite less related issues than I thought.

met Ami

8:17am JST Tuesday 11 March 2008 (day 13866)

HI Ami

How are you?  I feel sad today.  I think I feel sad from last night.  I look forward to seeing you
on Wednesday.  If we can meet earlier, that would be great.

To help understand my sad feeling, I will go to I-group today.  I would really like to see you too,
but I have to go to I-group.

   Love Love
    - Rob

( fuck I can't get to the rest of the messages right now )

Basically she said "me too" and we met at 9:25 on Hibiya Line in Ebisu after my I-group.

She said she was nervous about what I might say. I grokked that and empathised with her. I thought *I* was the one who needed to be nervous.

Basically we both agreed that while I may not want kids, that doesn't mean I'll always want kids, and though she does want kids, she does *not* want kids right now. I made her promise me that if she hears feels an encroaching internal alarm clock on this issue, she will tell me.

She said she would press me for marriage first, but, yes she promised.

I'm not sure what my equivalent promise would be.