Entries this day: AM_Meditation AM_idea Kawasaki

AM Meditation

10:10am JST Sunday 16 March 2008 (day 13871)

Last night I met Sarah and Jennifer after the first showing of Zeitgeist in Shibuya. We were like, "so yeah, but wtf do we do?"

It was decided that we'll start a thing on meetup.com to start.

This morning I was meditating and enjoyed a bit better success in keeping my brain under control. It's been what basically 2.5 months (I'm roughly adding 6 weeks of the meditation course with Helma and the 4 weeks since it ended)... I've been pretty consistently meditizin' since then, and just today I was like, "oh, this is interesting."

Some of the recent changes in my thought forms started with my most recent I-group meeting when I started off with, "I'm afraid of committment," and came to realize I'm not accepting of myself (not committing to myself?) unless I'm perfect.

So that gave me the bit of cold water in the face to realize I'm not perfect, and I am okay with that. I know intellectually I'm not perfect, but now I'm beginning to stop even chasing perfection as a goal, and just fuckin' chill and be okay with imperfection.

So, as a result, instead of yelling at my brain when it goes astray, that yelling thought form doesn't even come. Instead of believing I know wtf meditation means and I know wtf I should feel, I've released that thought form, dropping my expectations for meditations.

And, this morning, I seemed to be aware of a bit more subtle shifts in my body, specifically in my sinus, and in my temples (or perhaps not, but the sensation is a relaxation of my brain at the temples on either side of my head), though to be clear my awareness of these points has been growing, I noticed a little extra awareness yesterday and this morning.

Yesterday I noticed that with each inhalation, my brain would "tighten" (this is way too strong of a word).. my brain would elevate at the temples and then relax on each exhalation. BUT that was only if I was semi-affecting my breath. If I could completely get my brain's hands off my breath, then that elevation and relaxation of my brain at the temples did *not* occur with each (in|ex)halation.

Today I began to get my brain's hands off my breaths (as indicated by no elevation/relaxation of the brain temples) even more consistently while still maintaining awareness of breath, and I noticed changes in my sinus (the amount of air that could easily flow through which nostril). For the record, during my meditation this morning, and right now as I type this (10:28am) both nostrils are happily enjoying airflow.

AM idea

10:29am JST Sunday 16 March 2008 (day 13871)

But that's not why I'm writing.

Zeitgeist suggests, among other things, that the US Federal Reserve Bank necessarily enslaves those who are bound to its currency because the bank lends money at interest, and has a monopoly on currency production.

So during my meditation, during one of my brain's forays from awareness of my breathing, I wondered how to start a new currency. A currency that isn't just paper with value based on perception, but a currency that has actual value in itself.

Gold? yeah yeah, no, even better than gold.

Platinum? nope.

- - - -

So I was like, "aight, what do I actually need?"

1. air

2. water

3. food

4. love

and some would say not in that order.

I've read The Five Love Languages (*) by Gary Chapman, and recently started reading it again. It basically suggests that in order to love our partners, we need to know in what ways they feel loved.

(*) need to test that link; I wrote it by hand

So, I'm thinking that we can start a group where we all know how each other person feels loved, and then we can choose to love whoever we want by speaking their language of love.

The idea seemed a lot more doable during my meditation than it does as I write it, but I'm going to continue with this idea for a bit and see where it goes and how it develops.

Kawasaki

1:58pm JST Sunday 16 March 2008 (day 13871)

Ami and I are in Kawasaki (Azalea); we just ate at a non smoking restaurant (I wanted to fill out a survey to thank them specifically for being non smoking, but they didn't have that option).

Picked up some pants I had altered (deeper pockets) and I was joking like my arm was vanishing into the pockets. Then I was like, 「もうすこしいいただけますか？」, basically "how about just a bit bigger?" I was glad the clerk got the joke.

Ami and I looked at travel prices. Saw Macau is cheaper than Europe so I can email Mark and ask if we can crash at his crib.