Entries this day: Dreams Work i-group kevin_curry

Dreams

7:28am JST Monday 14 July 2008 (day 13991)

On da daytrip with Ami / my gilfriend not always Ami and had a fight, or I got angry at something and went sort a crazy angry and wanted to break my mouse and cncel the tri and stuf. She asked if she could learn to drive scott, and I wasn't willing to teach her and eventually we made up and I owned that I hadn't noticed what had triggeed my anger, and that I wante to do that more effectively.

The a guy was wanting to fight me, or anyone, and I was behind a car door or behind a windshiedl and used that to block his bows, but then I got out like, "I can handle this" and negotiated out of the fight in various ways until like I was a matador and he was a bull. I climbed a tree when he got in a car to run me over, and I was going to disabl e the car by throwing some old dead branches the tree had to offer me. I was consious that the tree was givg me part of itself to let me win this conflict. I dropped a branch (dried log) dwown at the car to try and block the fan and I was somewhat successful, and then I threw down something else (oh the ree had been wobly at first) and I pulled off a branch which stripped down some of the tree's bark, and I was again consious that this was not good for the tee, but it was selflessly giving to me. I jammed the branch down toward the carand not even that stopped it all the way, but eventually the engine stopped and I was going to jump down when I realized I was dreaming.

lucid deam:

I decided to walk through the air to a window cause I knew I could fly bu decided to do something more subtle than fly. I walked toward a window at the same level I was in the tree and the a floo appeared elow me and my dad was in the room. I was like, "dad I want to translocate (teleport) myself and he was liek, "okay you're in a dream so you can be as multi-dimensioned as you like, " "you're four dimensional now you're N dimenional. what do you see?"

I looked at the wall and realized it had a different wality (* I meant to type reality, but wality is cool) to it. I was like, "I can almost count all these dots without counting them," and I walked aout the room a bit trying to translocate, but not knowing how to go about it. I thought, "well if i did knwo what would I do?" and I made myself shrink down or I imaginined myself to shrink down (though my erception didnt' change) and then I moved and I imagined myself big again," and my dad clapped. I had done it. "Did I do it?" "yes" and I did it again, making myself shrink dow, or imagining myself shrunk down, but my perception didn't change and then mvoed, very conscious of myself still in the room) and then back to normal and my dad said, "very good" as if I had done it again, but I was pretty sure it was only my iagination, and nothing actualy changed.

I was like, "okay I need to go" which was also weird cause I figured I would have control over imte if I was multi-dimensional, but

I came back to normal dream reality and though nothing changed as I was still in the room with my dad, and outside we saw a rocket raft power up. basically it was a large inflatable raft with a long submaring ish hull and then two wings and thrusters on each wing or cylindrical thrust director s on each wings (two concentric circles on ach wing) and a hue rocket flame out not rocket jet flame out of the cnete of ths red inflatable raft.

watched it for a bit and I told Dad about this article I had read about high rate of suicides and insanities in the US military. He agreed the army had made him pretty crazy, even though he never saw battle.

and then I was leaving dad a s we were on that raft-ship, and I told the other soldiers that I was okay as I was leaping overboard, but then some soldiers were in the water with soft yellow life rings, and one of the blonde girl soldiers offered me one, and even though it would slow me down, it would keep me more afloat, and she was cute blonde so I accepted readily.

Went to shore and was in Fred's room / office helping him clean up or something, adn I wanted to take some of his old business card, but he got a bit mad at me for taking these instead of those, wheer these had been carefully made or somethng.

I didn't worry too much about why he had gotten mad but just let him tel me what was what and give the right cards, or actually he was looking for the right ones when I woke up.

Work

5:55pm JST Monday 14 July 2008 (day 13991)

Got good shizzle done at work today. Didn't get as much as I may have hoped, but am learning more about the system, etc. Andrew made some structural changes to the code I've been twonking (bigger changes than just tweaking), and I cleaned up some of the code he dropped into my file structure.

Users can now register, and the links they click in emails work to verify their accounts, but the emails aren't being sent. Prolly just a small fix to get that fixed, but I'm not going to debug it; prolly Andrew can much more efficiently fix it/direct me in the right direction.

Basically getting a good start on this project, but still have a ways to go.

i group

10:52pm JST Monday 14 July 2008 (day 13991)

Good I-group tonight. I realized part of my issue is that I've got a sortof superiority complex when I don't drink, don't smoke, don't interrupt, try to speak with correct grammar, try to be perfect, maintain consciousness as much as possible, blah blah and all this crap

So part of me doesn't want to talk to people because I look down on them. This is not a productive/useful/appropriate way to be, I'm sure.

I'm also sure that this complex is making up for an inferiority complex that's dwelling inside.

I'm even pretty embarrassed to write it in here, but it just seems like I gotta air out this stanky laundry of my soul.

kevin curry

10:59pm JST Monday 14 July 2008 (day 13991)

After I-group, I invited us to curry, and Kevin joined me. Talked about the book I'm reading: _Earth_, and some other goodies, oh like my dream from this morning. He expressed some concern about the health of our I-group because there were only 4 peeps there tonight, and on a couple year overview, numbers seem to be dwindling... but from the 6 month or even a year overview, the numbers are about stable.

Oh, speakin' of numbers, I determined if I get 3% of what I imagine will be sales when the new project at work gets going, I'll be gettin' as much as I had in previous job. 5% would be quite lovely.

Ah crap; I'm way late in writing my monthly update to Kim.