Entries this day: AM_prep Good_ISIS Good_ideas

AM prep

11:26am JST Saturday 16 August 2008 (day 14024)

Started a load of laundry, meditated, hung up laundry while fleshing out my list of things I want to do, Noticed some patterns: big overarching wants. Looking forward to chatting with Helma about them.

Headed there now.

Good ISIS

1:26pm JST Saturday 16 August 2008 (day 14024)

Another good ISIS session. Different than before. This time not as much crying. This time more falling asleep, waking up, pissed that I fell asleep, sad that I can't do this, mad at whatever is holding me back,

(At one point in the early stages of the process, I was feeling furious for not being appreciated; I just wanted to yell, "pay attention to me!" and scream, "I AM IMPORTANT!")

I cycled cycled and then suddenly all tension released, I (suddenly became aware of high frequency ring in my ears, and it wasn't like I hadn't been paying attention and it had always been there, but more like it just turned on, though I'm sure at some level of reality it has always been there; I just tuned in to that level of reality. I just let go and tuned in to that reality and) just floated in helplessness which needs no help.

Floated there for a while as Helma was connecting for me. She asked what I was experiencing and I said something that included "angels" like "happy angels" or .. maybe that was it.

She said basically, "well keep experiencing that 'cause it feels [to me like it's] good [for you to be in that space]."

I stayed floating and feeling waves of tingles over my body. Just slightly like a gentle cosmic sprinkle. Fell asleep, but didn't get mad when I woke up. Just be. Simply be.

Eventually it was time to re-engage Focus 1 waking reality (to borrow a term from The Monroe Institute) and I slowly did so.

After waking up, I asked if I could stay for a bit to write the above, which I did as she headed out to get lunch. I remembered to pay her before she headed out, so that was good to support her lunch purchase. She even got me a little protein squeezie drink thing.

1:56pm JST

Just a moment ago, a guy was showing one of the empty rooms in this building to a woman, and he was about to come in to Helma's room. I saw the handle turn and was like, "HI!" to announce that we were in here (having lunch, so no worries), and he was like, "sorry, wrong door," but Helma opened the door anyway, and OMG Helma has met the woman being shown the room! Amy バスかビール had introduced her some months ago. Turns out the woman lives five minutes' walk away.

Wow!

Good ideas

4:03pm JST Saturday 16 August 2008 (day 14024)

I called Ami on my way home, but no answer. I was gonna head home anyway and wait for her, but I realized that might be silly. Headed instead back to Yoyogi-Uehara to take the Odakyu Line to Shinjuku. Returning to Yoyogi-Uehara, I noticed three guys with cat ear headbands, so I got a picture of them with U-Cow. Almost didn't, basically out of fear of approaching them, but I realized it would be silly not to.. They're wearing cat ears!

Helma happened to be on the platform on the way to Shinjuku; we chatted a bit on the train and I told her of my close call to going home to wait for Ami.

Said bye in Shinjuku; I headed to the book store where last night I ordered a book for Ami (another copy of the text that Komatsu-san won't take home), and picked up Ami's copy.

She called me while I was paying, and confirmed with me that she'd be working today and see me around 10pm.