Entries this day: Big_dream Kamakura_beach

Big dream

6:34am JST Saturday 30 August 2008 (day 14038)

floating on a small

fishing on a boat, I apparently caught a fish, and when I pulled my line up, it ws just a tangle of line. I

disrupted a couple of people to cut the line clean, but took care of it, gu

cutting off what I didn't need (likke cutting through a net / hammock, not just a line)

boating away, but had forgotten my swisher sweets cause I had decided to start smoking? I had smoked one apparently

ah snap I forgot my something else, floating on the water, a box of manga

"oh that's intersting, "man" means raw."

Ohhhh! I just realized another word that means raw." but didn't say it.

The girl on whom I had a crush was like, "manko?"

"um, yeah"

and we were all lined up, me behind the smelly Japanese guy I dnd't realllly like, but nothing I could do

then he was like, "I want you guts to get closer to the sides to balance

so we were

so I invited her up to join me she had to squeeze in under a bar to get there, but it made things better for balancing the boat, and she was close to me, and the salaryman didn't stink anymore.

or I wasn't pressed up against his back, I was off to the side so I could see

and she was next to me and she could see as well

he drove , navigating through traffic that was a bit chaotic now on the streets

We arrived in new location

looking at pictures of old PB ports and such, some funny pictures that were half black and white, half color, like the bottom half of the pictures were color, and the top was bloack and white, and Spike The Dog was pictures across the line. Just happened to be that way and I liked the pictures becuase of that, moreso than what was in it.

pictures from when a crazy lady was showing us how she could hold her cat under water and it wouldn't feak out, evn as wabubbles were escaping out of its nose, it was sit there calmly.

talking to my russian friends who were next to two friends who were shooting missles over at some other guys, not knowing why they were being shot at

went back over to those guys and wer they were like, "we don't know why they're shooting at us, oh, yeah it's just Boris who is shooting back ther."

I sorted out that it was just Boris shooting from one side, and Only Hans shooting from the other side, though Katinka was helping, and made them come talk and sort things out. Hands pretnded to kill boris, but they were just playing

Then someone telling a sotry of a scary movie

watching the moie as a frightened child frightened hand of a child had grown

childs hand was personified

watching the hand timidly walk forward. One of the

not walk like on two fingers, but all fingers together like a dog shadow puppet inching forward, with one figuer bent a bit to becomgt to be the eye, and it actually grew an eye to see. then something shifted and tehe eye turned into a hat and it wore a hat and had a new eye and moving forward, and I became the character in a house and going into a kitchen to help my mommy do dishes, but my hands were covering my mouth.

"how are you?" she asked

""Find thank you and you/"

I said through closed mouth

how are you she repeated?

"Fine thank you and you?" with my ahands covering my mouth.

How are you?" she asked again

fine thank you adn you?

I was not fine, and I still answered through closed covered hand and mouth

"how are you?" ahs asked again.

"fine thank you and you?" I said through covered mouth.

she sterted to wash the two dishes. Yes you are fine.

and she left the dishes half washe,d and I washed them the rest of the way repeating fine thank you and you fine thank you and you

then I looked out the window and

IT was right there; the window was utterly blacked out I couldn't see anything but blackness of IT and I screamed thr eshrillest screaming shriek and went to find my mommmy but both doors were closed I was trapped in the kitchen

I broke through one door into the living room where the hand had been creeping forward and the house was spooky closing down around me; IT was all around the house.

I was scared beyond balls shitless and I realized it was a dream. or no, but it was at that level of scaredness that I always pop awake.

Not this time. I styed in the dream and screamed holy bloody anger

RAAAAAGGGHHHRRRR (that's like 192 point font)

the energy of the house cleared up

RAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!! like a thousand angry chewbaccas in unison with a chorus of King Kongs. I wanted to destroy the house by blowing it apparet from the inside, but I didn't have that much control over the dream.

the energy was clered up. things felt a lot cleaner and clearer.

I gently woke up.

found my physical body lying on my bck (normal) with hands clasped together on my chest (not normal? maybe?) and one leg bent at the knee with foot on pile of pillows (not so normal)

awesome breakthrough to not run away from the scariness in the dream. I've never done that before, or not in a long long long time. Sweet.

I lay in bed a while recalling the deets of the scenes before the last scene to write down as many as possible.

Notable things: I interrupted people to cut the line.

I had started to smoke (I'll take this as "be okay with being imperfect")

I stood next to the girl I liked, and it allowed me to see

I negotiated a peace treaty meeting

I stood my ground while being utterly scared, shouting away all the baddies.

Oh, I just now remember there was a part of me that thought while screaming would be an effective solution, it was not the best, and it would be actually best to stay there and be quiet slash calm.

But after I screamed and began to wake up, I realized I hadn't really done that before, so it may in fact have been the best solution, and that "be quiet" message is the one that's been getting me in trouble all these years.

Kamakura beach

11:47am JST Monday 1 September 2008 (day 14040)

Went to Kamakura Beach with Ulrike on Saturday (30 August). It was her first full day in Japan, and she was well ready for anything besides the nightmare of first night lost in a new city/language/culture of the night before.

Got a free Pocari Sweat, but couldn't take a picture with the blue-dressed girls and Uncle Cow. Found Ami's friend's workplace: Blue Lagoon, and chilled out there for a bit of food, drinks, and ice cream for me. I got cheap refills for using the same container. I think also they just want to get rid of it because the store is now closed for the season.

A woman with long sandyblonde curly hair and a little accessorinu (a word I just made up: combination of accessory and the Japanese word for dog: inu. Basically a little dog that is used more as a cute accoutrement than respected as an animal) named Noi-noi arrived, and Ami was like, "she's famous, or she used to be, but 'went crazy' and fell out of the lime light." I met her and learned her name by way of greeting her dog. Tomomi something, though we didn't see much of her, and I didn't get a U-Cow picture with her.

Did get U-Cow with a guy buried in the sand, and also played with some guys who were trying to volley a ball while balanced on a raft. Fun times.