Entries this day: ISIS_14 No_glasses Zzzzz_backups

ISIS 14

4:47pm JST Monday 13 October 2008 (day 14082)

No glasses

11:37am JST Sunday 12 October 2008 (day 14081)

I'm writing this withou seeing more than just a fuzzy line on the screen slowly increasing in length. I imagine I'm typing the correct letters because I can feel the bumps on the f and j keys.. I just finished my 14th ISIS session with Helma, during which I cryingly wondered wtf I am supposed to be doing this lifetime. Why am I here? Why did I survive my skating accident? Why did i survive my TJ Bike accident 9cause I only broke my shoulder, that's why)

But I'm here to serve humanity and the world and I can't imagine why individual people are such TV addicts and sleeping most of the time, and why do I think I'm doing anything different? I don't watch TV don't smoke, don't drink, don't do no drugs (don't do any drugs (except sugar (glucose, not PCP))))))))))))) but have my own addictions to porn and eating and is this my station? shoot because i can't see I don't know if I ust missed my station. I think now.

Anyway, part of my crying was from my imperfect body having to wear glasses and not being able to smell so well no have two clear nostrils. for breathing purposes (I'm at my station now; i hadn't missed it.)

And I realized that I don't really need my glasses to get home. It's not like I need to talk to anyone (except to get my pen back from the restaurnat where I think I left it on Friday) and with only the slightest vision I can safely navigate the train system (now that I know where I'm going) Anyway, so I'm not wearing my glasses.

Before the ISIS session, we talked for quite a while, including shame for not paying her the full amount, planning my spending for this month, wondering if my room has has bad energy for meditation, how my journal sometimes gets me in trouble when I say I'm dating Miss Houston orr writing xoxoxoxoxox in an email that I post online.

I think if everyone had their iner thoughts posted online, the world would be a better place. If there were no secrets. In fact, I'd want this conversation to be transcribed in realtime and posted; I would love that.

That's the only reason I tote my computer around wherever I go. It's too difficult to take the time after the fact; I can only capture a mere whisp of the events by writing that evening or days later.

Otherwise my journal woudld be like, "I broke my shoulder. I got a job. I got laid off. I got a new job. I'm doing a thing called ISIS. It's like meditaton, but more directed . (It's actually the "opposite" of meditation, but they serve similar purposes.)

Do I "owe" anything to people who read this? Would anyone care if I stopped writing?

I would care. that's for sure. The future me would be like, "damn I can't believe I quit writing. I hardly remember the cool thing that happened the very next day. Or was it the net week? or the next year? Hmmmm"

12:09pm JST Sunday 12 October 2008 (day 14081)

Now in Shibuya on Toyoko Line headed home. I called Kumi after the ISIS to begin planning an ISIS 101 workshop. Helma said sh would do such a workshop for just the three of us. Me, Kumi and Mia. I'd lvoe beyond all recognition if Ami would be abe to join, but she'd have to do the ISIS 101 first, and she won't even contact Mia to ask about that. She's just like, "oh I can't go; it costs too much," but Japanese culture doesn't try to bargain prices, nor barter. The flyer says it costs this much, so that's how much I'd have to pay.

Kumi will contact Mia to see about her availability, and I'll contact Amy, to see about using her cabin.

HI Amy!

How are you, my friend in The Law?

And how are you parents, my friend in the Law?

And how is your cabin, my friend in The Law?

And how would you feel about us using it fro ISIS 101?

I just did my 14th ISIS session (13th with Helma; I've done 1 with Kevin).  At the end, I was like,
"when can we doo ISIS 101, oh great and magical teacher??" and added, "I know that as
I'm asking this, I haven't done anything to make it happen."

So, my clear fountain has inspired me to write to you.  What would it take to use your cabin for
ISIS?  HAt this point, we have three likely students (maybe 4) and one teacher.  I've heard your
cabin is big enough to support four or five people.  Would it be available for a week in the next
few months?  Would it be available for the week of New Year's holiday in Japan?

What would be the cost per day?

  Love and Light
  - Rob Nugen
  - Thunder Rabbit

Perhaps that will work as an email to Amy. I literally composed it here in my journal and would copy it to an email to her (would = will_ (copy = copy-edit)

Helmasaid she would talk to Mia about my attendance at the ATE. It would be my third, and my second to attend without paying. Kumi, I found out, offered to be the official support person for Helma in the circle. Mia is the official translator, and since I didn't even think to ask Helma bout being her official support person, I'd just be her official seasoned (?) meditator.

Gah; such self esteem issues steaming from my brain. This team of meditators would be fine withouth me; would they be better off with me?

In Shibuya, I went to the restaurant (put my glasses on first) but it was closed. Dang. I've chosen not to go to Shinjku in search of a replacement pen; I still have hopes that I'll be able to get it from the rstaurant on Tuweday (Monday (tomorrow)) is a holiday. I've got a few more boards to paint; I'll probablsart on another one today.

Need to write to Kim as well.

Zzzzz backups

2:17am Monday 13 October 2008

To Angel:

Hey mate

I've just set up the database to be backed up and encrypted.  The
encrypted data is being sent to my email address here.
(T.R.@angelic-alchemy.com)

It's conceivable that you'd want access to these, in case I die or
something.  Because they're encrypted, I'll need to teach you how to
decrypt them.

The data needs to be encrypted because it contains all your customers'
information (addresses and stuff, for a start, and possibly credit
cards once we get that part going)

Read the sentences above in a different order and they may make more
sense.  I'm tired and can't write words rightly right now.

Just ask if you have questions.  PS: in about a week, ask me if I've
set up the .php files to be similarly encrypted and archived.

  See you
   - Rob!