My friend Karla recently asked a question about leaps of faith:

Have you ever jumped off a cliff?

I don't mean literally. Have you ever taken that leap of faith - left it all behind without knowing where it would lead you. How did it turn out? What were your feelings before and after the jump? How long did it take before you became accustomed to the new life? Did you ever regret the leap into space?

Um, yes, I have. While I'm hesitant to change from a stable situation, I realize jumping from cliffs is a bit of a theme in my life.

I doubt I can really get 25, but there are a few doozies that some of my peers have said they would never do.

1. This is not the first leap I've remembered, but the first one I think I took: going to a weekend retreat with a buncha people I didn't know, all because my lovely friend Christina said it would be really fun. This was during high school, and I was super shy, but went anyway. Best decision ever.



2. Also during high school: tried out to be cheerleader (woulda been the only male on the squad). Not accepted, but glad I tried.
   
   Joined the color guard, as one of only 2 guys in rifles (as in twirling wooden rifles during half time). Lots of fear to apply for that. Got it, and no regrets!



3. Knowing I was shy, knowing shyness is foolish, and being able to do much about it are different things. But I challenged myself to *do something* while in college. So scared, but so successful in the end. I had no experience, but within the structure of Homecoming week, I built Recycling Day, during which we collected 14,000 pounds of recyclables in one day.
   
   No regrets there, but I do regret not having done more leadership-requiring things since!



4. After college, I started my own business, with no business knowledge. I had saved up $10,000 after paying my students loans, figured I didn't need this "job" thing anymore!!
   
   One year later, I was $9000 in debt, and nothing to show for it except a priceless friendship with Dude... (but I was destined to meet him anyway (different story, sorry!)) I regret not having done my homework before starting this adventure. But I did enjoy a year of chillin'!



5. Most frightening job application of my life: applying to be a DJ at KTRU, Rice Radio in Houston! I loved listening to the station, but I had never been a DJ! I hadn't attended Rice! I'm out of my league here! Did it anyway. No regrets.
   
   And it must be noted, ultimately due to the first leap mentioned, I met Ellen who may have pulled some strings to get me the job. Thank you!
   



6. Biggest leap of my life: I broke off my engagement and moved to Japan. Wende and I had a house, two cars (hers was a new truck!), three cats, and seven months before we were to get married, and I said, "I can't do this."
   
   I think those were literally my words.
   
   Bless her heart, Wende said, "Okay. What do we need to do?"
   
   It was one of the hardest jumps I've ever made, and I've wondered what life woulda been like had I stayed. Wende now has a husband (and they just had a baby!) and I'm so glad for her and them and wish them the best best best.
   
   Overall, though, I'm glad for my decision. Had I stayed stable, I wouldn't have seen the amazing things I've seen, been the places I've been, eaten the cookies I've eaten.



7. Drove solo 11,000 miles around the US.
   
   My plan was to move to Japan, as a first step to seeing the world. But before seeing the world, I figured I should see my own country first.
   
   Note: The United States is really big.
   
   From my cookie-baking base in Dallas, I drove my car Scott in a 5000 mile loop including Oklahoma (chillin' with Scott, party at Shawn's), Arkansas (hot springs), Kentucky (I was born here?), Tennessee (thank you, Lisa!), Virginia (for weeks with my dad's side of the family), Ohio (a day with my mom's sister's family), Illinois (days with the M and M twin's mom!), Missouri (pizza for days with Amelia's family), and any other snippets of states in between. Between my friends' and familial places, Slept in Scott a lot in lots, or rest areas or just wherever I could find.
   
   Looking back, I regret not having stopped a bit more often to smell the flowers and ride the roller coasters. (I drove by Cedar Point at night, thinking, "if it were open, I'd go right now.")
   
   Back to Dallas, a couple months of cookies later, I drove 6000 miles through West Texas (beautiful), New Mexico (Carlsbad Caverns), Arizona (lunch with my second cousin Jeanette), California (10 days in LA hosted by my lovely Sally in Cali), Oregon (2 weeks at Dude and Vero's house playing Animal Crossing during Christmas), and then rush rush rush back to Dallas for New Year's 2003!!
   
   Again, I regret not stopping more. I remember driving within a few hours of Four Corners, debating debating debating.
   
   But even worse, I drove through the Redwood Forest at night. Without stopping. Twice.



8. After my first year in Japan, where I hated my job, I decided to quit... It was really scary cause I was living in company housing. If I quit my job, I'd have no income, *and* no place to stay. Jumped off that cliff anyway into a new job (Jesse! Kellie! Jimmy!), and new apartment (Jenny! NPShokoShoko! Giuliana!).
   
   Best decision ever, because just a year later, I got an email from my best roommate ever, Genkiman Dan:
   
   

   Yo
   
   This thing looks like something you'd enjoy.
   
   Live the Dream
   

   
   
   Wouldn't have been able to do it had I feared the jump to new situation within Japan and gone back to the US (staying in the former job woulda driven me insane).
   



9. Quit my job, quit my apartment, got rid of a lot of my stuff for a 100 day voyage around the world! Had no idea what I would do once I got back, but it didn't matter. Would not likely get another chance like this again! Still great friends with several of the peeps I met on the voyage.



10. Got back from the voyage with some money still saved up, lived with my favorite Hawaiian Kellie for some weeks (five?) until my next leap to the war-torn land of Palestine.
    
    Had heard all about the Israeli occupation of Palestine during the voyage, but the stories were too impossible to imagine.
    
    
    • Family homes demolished with 1 hour warning. "Get out of your house *right* *now*. The bulldozers are here."
    • 
      
    • Spontaneous border crossings to get to school or work or market. "Show me your papers. Oh sorry, you can't go to school today."
    
    
    • "Security wall" raised between villages and their land; between families; between you and your life.
    
    
    
    
    The stories are all true. Let me assure the gentle reader that Palestine deserves better treatment. A dog deserves better treatment.



11. There. Well, I can't think about anything else, but I got back from Palestine pretty low on funds, but even so, got back on the ship for another voyage around the world. Easter Island, I'll be back.



12. Got back from the voyage with $180 (US equivalent) and a greater desire to try a silent meditation for 10 days than a desire to have any stability. Still had one month and 471 kilometers between me and the retreat. Not enough money to buy a ticket there *and* housing once I arrived, so I rode my bicycle. Didn't even have a map when I started.
    
    10 days' silent meditation was just about more difficult than the trip!
    
    But it gave me presence of mind when, on the way back, I hit a car while inadvertently careening down a hill and broke my shoulder. Ooops!
    
    I don't regret the trip, but I sorta regret not having had insurance to help with my accident. Suddenly $4000 in the red, I have just worked my way to the green two years later. Ready for my next jump.



13. And finally, though the above could be a good closing for this little Note, last summer I bungy jumped off 233 meter tall Macau Tower in Macau. No regrets there! Thanks to Mark for hosting us in Macau!!



14. Oh wait; I realize I'm in the middle of a leap right now. I've got no job, but a bit of savings, and my rent paid 3 months in advance. Would like to get some gigs in modeling, but don't know if I can do it. Would like to get paid for my painting, but don't know where to start. Would like to get paid for doing reiki and massage, which I know I can do but afraid to advertise.
    
    Why?

Planned leaps:

1. skydiving



2. another bicycle trip?



3. But perhaps most important, reach out to my friends for support on the last leap above

Jumps I can't imagine making at the moment:

1. parenthood



2. for that matter, marriage



3. managing people (I could sorta imagine this, but it scares me)

Karla, thank you for asking. I'll check back in with you in one week on my progress through my fears. If I don't, please e-track me down!

Finally, a note slash enormous thank you to Bryn, who gave me some excellent advice when I told her I was afraid to leap:

"If you don't do it, you'll be leading by example not to follow your dreams."