Entries this day: Sabina_remote_viewing World_Family_interview Yurika_lesson buffet_vegan_night final_fight_with_Ami

Sabina remote viewing

11:57am JST Thursday 21 May 2009 (day 14302)

I say it's a hit!

Sabina and I did a little remote viewing experiment. She's not convinced, exactly, but I'm quite happy with the results.

She'd like to do it again; I might start a series of pages of RV with her on my wiki.

World Family interview

5:27pm JST Thursday 21 May 2009 (day 14302)

Met Zak and Sara Zacharee and Sarah with Martin interviewing us all at World Family today! They both seem cool, and I'm sure we'll all get the jobs, as part time as they may be. Awesome! There's a decent unpaid training period (learing 81 songs), but once we're in, the pay is nice, as part time as it may be.

Yurika lesson

5:29pm JST Thursday 21 May 2009 (day 14302)

Have a lesson with Yurika at 7pm. Oh man I am so hungry already, but plan not to eat until 8pm or actually 8:30 ish by the time I get here with Kanae.

8:10pm JST Thursday 21 May 2009 (day 14302)

During the lesson I was soooo tired. Woah. Still made it somehow though...

buffet vegan night

10:29pm JST Thursday 21 May 2009 (day 14302)

Near the second bar area, I sat next to Ami, who sat across from Kane. We were joined by a guy named Danai, who hadn't been to The Pink Cow since its previous location in Harajuku. Talked mostly about my trip to OZ for Clairvision, and about me-n-Kanae's respective adventures on PB, and a bit about who's still in Japan.

final fight with Ami

1:10am JST Friday 22 May 2009 (day 14303)

Ami cutely held my hand while we walked in the train station, through the quiet areas all "sorry, but you're still my boyfriend," and I was like, "no I'm not," etc.

Got into a bit of an argument with her saying "please" and me saying "no" and then me ripping U-Cow's head mostly off in a fit of anger just wanting to get *away* from Ami literally blocking my way to go home, like Hitomi did a few times more than too many. I'm sure those old memories have an effect on me now.

Ami walked away, and I thankfully thought it was over, and walked the opposite direction to give her time to get to the train. I came around a bit later and Ami was waiting at the top of the escalator, similar to Hitomi waiting for me on my way home during PB. Gah. Argued a bit at the entrance to Toyoko Line (ground floor entrance in Shibuya) then near silence on the train where I wanted to punch the drunk guy next to me who kept pressing against me as he hung from the hanging handle.

More yelling in Musashi Kosugi and then finally went to TJ Bike in bicycle parking near Foodium for quieter yelling, and there for some reason saying the same thing over and over finally worked, and it sounds like Ami understands I'm being for real.

10:00pm JST Friday 22 May 2009 (day 14303)

Baaaay sically, I told her I need to just be alone and stop focusing on physical relationship. Told her it has to be 100% breakup and not with an underlying understanding that we'll get back together when I get my brain together. It's gotta be an underlying understanding that we're over. Finished. fin. 　おつかれさまでした。

But I think I may have learned something about sensitivity, though not sure. Seemed that my crude version of my truth didn't sit well with her, and she wanted me to apologize for saying it. I said the same thing in a far different way and it was okay.

I said something like my version of our relationship had turned to just focus on the physical and I needed to stop that for good in my life so I wasn't gonna do any more, plus not do anything with her. Gah.

I wrote it out a bit better in my morning pages (mourning pages?) and may scan them and put them in here. Might. Should, for the sake of historical evidence.