Entries this day: Dream Late Met_Rebecca_and_Richard My_25th_or_so_ISIS Yoga isis_26_or_so rrr_chat

Dream

9:37am JST Saturday 2 January 2010 (day 14528)

Back in the US, on some sort of road trip (to SWUUSI?) hanging out with a woman who was traveling a similar direction through Texas. Saw my mom and ran up to her to hug and say HI.

On a train with a kid diarrheaing everywhere. I was grossed out and woke up.

Ah crap I'm late!!

Late

9:40am JST Saturday 2 January 2010 (day 14528)

Have been on the train for an hour now, mostly writing to Sabina and reading about Trac, which seems to not natively support git. Not yet decided if I will continue using Trac for this project... Ah! I have a reasonable solution:

1. Temporarily abandon my git repository for python journal

2. Use this Trac installation with SVN to trac a django installation to be my journal

3. ...

4. Rule the multiverse with Python!

Because of the fourth item, I just crossed out the word "reasonable" above.

Met Rebecca and Richard

12:09pm JST Saturday 2 January 2010 (day 14528)

Took a taxi from Otsuka to Amy's mom's house and arrived as planned at 10am.

Hugged Rebecca and Richard and gave a brief synopsis of my Japan history; learned Richard is in university west of London for computer science (learning Java), and told them I had wanted to be on the building team in OZ, but will go for it next year, in OZ or maybe Cali, if the property gets sorted out.

My 25th or so ISIS

12:14pm JST Saturday 2 January 2010 (day 14528)

Awesome session. Rebecca chose a point on my chest, just to the right of my sternum. For a while at first I was like, "I feel nothing," but got a bit deeper into it like it felt cold. Like an infinite black hole with cold point at the bottom into which I could fall but never return. She eased me into the hole and I found cold stillness at the bottom, like inert, solid, charcoal gray, flat steel. Nothing to do, nowhere to go. Can't do anything, can't go anywhere.

"When did you first encounter this feeling?"

and reconnected with the times I used to sleep on the deep freeze. "They don't love me so I'll just sleep outside on the freezer. It's always here for me; it loves me. It's stable and nice, and if you get used to the cold, it's not even that cold."

Chilled in that space for a bit and then noted the dead carcasses in the freezer, looking for a reason to have been killed, a body to live. I've got a ton of energy. I've got a ton of love. I love you, little dead carcasses! If no one else does, *I* love you!!

In my outer mind, "Hmmmm, if they were looking for a warm body to live, and I was looking for something consistent to love me, maybe we worked out a symbiotic relationship..." or maybe that's just my silly brain reading too much into this.

At Rebecca's suggestion could feel the dichotomy between warmth, boundless love, boundless energy, and cold lifeless inert stability. I've got so much energy, so much love. What to do with it?? I want to help everyone find their own inner light and help the entire world evolve forward as an entity and as a species.

Looked then at the golden side again, and just wanted to open my eyes and gaze into her eyes and fall in love and connect and love and love foreva. Didn't say that until a bit later she described, "it's like there's a longing for connection," so I told her what I had censored before.

( silly man; no need to censor )

Just want to do everything be everywhere.

What about just be?

Yoga

8:19pm JST Saturday 2 January 2010 (day 14528)

In yoga, I was a bit やらしい, but didn't reallly act on it. Just imagined. Wanted to hold Emiko's hand on the train, but need not send confusing signals.

isis 26 or so

8:21pm JST Saturday 2 January 2010 (day 14528)

Heading home after my most recent ISIS session with Rebecca. It was all over the proverbial map. Her finger was focused right on the top of my right hip, which felt ticklish and I wanted to squirm away, but stayed with it. Glimpsed a vision of being near Jesus Christ out in a mountainous desert, but didn't stay with that vision very long. Floated around in nice loving spaces, and wasn't very responsive as I was nearly falling asleep, but then was practically shocked awake as Rebecca started actively pressing on the side of my hip, and really activating some energy points! I could feel tingling in my hands and felt my skull being crushed, and just stayed with the tingling until it was all over my body. My stomach started to gurgle, and lower back started to hurt (on the left), and I wanted to move and run away, but stayed with it. I saw a vision of me scooping up snow from the ground five inches deep, and then had the sense that I slipped on the ice and busted my ass, paralyzing my legs. So much shame that I had to be cared for my others, and so much sadness that I couldn't walk outside in the gardens any more. As a monk, I wasn't allowed to express any earthly desires, so just stayed clammed up for the rest of my life until I just gave up and died.

Rebecca got back into digging into my leg muscles, prodding down the side and top of my right leg, activating tons of energy in what I've come to know as my etheric body. Wanted to run away or at least squirm, but stayed in the energy, despite pain in my lower back.

Rebecca said she perceived a great amount of energy in my lower column, and sensed that it was blocked by something. Hmmmm.

I do have a lot of energy. This I know.

rrr chat

8:38pm JST Saturday 2 January 2010 (day 14528)

Chatted with Rebecca and Richard for a bit, answering their questions about what to do with a few days in Tokyo. Basically suggested Harajuku + Meijijingu, internet cafe, capsule hotel, love hotel (if you're a couple, you should go), Tokyo Dome City, Hakone for two days, Kamakura and the nearby island, kaiten sushi, Shinjuku park, and agreed they should check out Akihabara and the fish market if they are interested.

I was gonna meet Rebecca on Monday morning, but we moved that to Thursday morning, so I will go out there on Wednesday night for ISIS and camp overnight, and then ISIS again Thursday morning, which I think is the day Soness comes home!