Entries this day: chatted-with-fred-today thinking-about-lins-trip

chatted with fred today

##19:23 Tuesday 25 December 2012

We determined that (at the time of our chat), it was about T-minus 100 hours until we'd get to hang out.  I've got a stopwatch set; it's been running 3 hours and 8 minutes now.

I told him I was thinking of getting him some "dope-ass chopsticks," or a "ceramic katana" so it would go through security as a carry-on.

thinking about lins trip

##06:27 Tuesday 25 December 2012

Lin and I have been talking a lot about her plan to live/work in Thailand for a year.

Being apart for an extended time will be hard; I know!  I see it as an extension of our relationship into a new realm.  What's it like to be together and be apart for a decent bit of time?

Lin has "always" wanted to travel and see other parts of the world.  That's exactly how I came to Japan, and gave up a whole life with great friends and great Wende to do it.   Even when I found another great life with janette, I was like, "yeah, no" I can't settle here, all the way up in Dallas, when the original goal was 1/2 way around the world.   When janette dropped me off at the airport, it didn't hit me until I went through the gate.  Boom crying like a baby "what the hell am I doing?"

I got on the airplane having never been to Japan, hardly knowing the language (still don't, considering how long I've been here.  Sorry, old Rob), and I remember how fucking hard it was to have no physical contact once I got here.  I got trolly comments on my journal when I was just wanting a hug.

So, I know it will be challenging, and I also know it will be growth.  For both of us, but especially for Lin.  She's wanted to travel for years but hasn't; she's been taking care of her family over taking care of her own dreams.   It will be growth for me and my desire for hugs.  Maybe I'll buy a (few) FREE HUGS t-shirt(s) to wear around town.   Maybe I'll spend more time in meditation to activate my kundalini, instead of having all this energy in lower chakras.

I think of the whole experience as divine spiritual growth for each of us and both of us together.

I don't know if I've mentioned, but the first time I washed Lin's back, I had a brief experience of déjà vu, "wow; Lin and I have done this before!" So I know we've had at least one other incarnation together, and I suppose many many many incarnations together.  In this one, while we're deeply in love, we are planning to be physically apart for a bit.

My part includes maintaining my job and this apartment where Lin can come back anytime.  Her part includes releasing everything so she can live alone for the first time in her life.

I got up this morning thinking I should get some Thai flash cards for Lin, so I'll look for some now.